I'm Not Okay 2

It Doesn't Matter Now

He was walking slowly up to me and I couldn't help but look away. All he will say is sorry and I'd forgive him. That normally happens right?

"Cassie..."

"Don't say sorry" I blurted out as he sat next to me.

"I need to, I shouldn't of just stayed quiet. You're my daughter"

"No I'm Not though" I whispered and he shook his head. "I'm adopted by you, I'm not your flesh and blood like Bee"

"That doesn't matter! Even if you are adopted by me that still means your my daughter! Lyn-z has to realise that and deal with it" He told me.

"Why does she hate me so much Gerard?" I asked and he dropped his head, he knows something and by the looks of it... It's pretty bad. "Gerard!?" I raised my voice and he looked back up.

"Bandit did something stupid and she blames you" He whispered and I raised my eyebrow "It doesn't matter now"

"Tell me what she did"

"Like I said... It doesn't matter now" He whispered and stood up, I stood up and stood next to him grabbing his arm.

"Tell me Gerard!" I shouted and he sighed.

"Lyn-z caught Bandit holding a pair of scissors to her wrist... Your her role model and she told her that she wanted to be just like you" Gerard blinked weakly and looked at the floor. "She could be lying though..."

"I'm sorry" I choked out and stepped back letting go of Gerard, what the fuck have I done? I... Bandit... Oh my god.

"Cassie"

"I.. I didn't mean to!" I cried out and saw Bandit stand at the door smiling. I stared at her as she walked into the room and up to me. I quickly pulled her into a hug and cried gently into her shoulder. "I'm sorry Bee" I whispered

"For what sissy? I hope you didn't kill Justin Bieber" She lowered her voice and pulled away. I chuckled slightly and shook my head.

"His alive and yours Bee... Can I speak to you alone?" I asked Bee and she nodded, Gerard looked UN sure but gave up and just stood outside.

"Why are you crying sissy?" She asked gently and I smiled at her.

"Bee, no matter what I do to myself don't copy. Okay? If you want to be like me then come and talkt o me. I'll even give you a make over if I need to" I chuckled and she nodded giving me some hope that she would stop this, why the hell would she want to be like me? I'm fucked up in the head so even I don't want to be me.

"When can I have that make over then?" She asked cheekly and I rolled my eyes. She laughed and ran of as Gerard walked back into the room.

"I know you heard" I whispered and he shrugged

"Thank you"

"No, Don't thank me" I snapped and I saw Lyn-z walk by after laughing at Bee. She walked in and stared at me.

"You.."

"Lyn-z stop" Gerard snapped and she shook her head.

"I need to say this Gerard" She looked at him and he nodded slowly, she snapped her head at me and sighed "I don't care what you do but when my daughter's around you better be careful because if I find out she's trying to be like you then you'll wish you was in hell" She snapped and Gerard stared at her shocked.

"I'm sorry... I didn't know she was trying to be like me" I whispered

"Just... Try and be careful" She sighed and I nodded slowly looking at the floor. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't fucking cry!!! And.. I cried.

"Cassie..."

"Gerard... Go see Bandit for a second" Lyn-z told him and he didn't refuse, he just left and walked off. I tried avoiding eye contact with Lyn-z but she walked over and sat next to me. She put her arm around me and... Hugged me? "Don't cry" She whispered "I didn't mean it" her voice was gentle and soothing, what the hell just happened!?

"I'm so sorry" I cried out and she hugged me tighter hushing me.

"I Know, it's not your fault" She whispered, "I won't hurt you" She whispered again and I relaxed "You make Bee happy" She smiled as I looked up.

"Anything makes Bee happy" I chuckled slightly and she let go but held my hand.

"Let's face it, I've been a bitch and I Know you hate me or think I hate you but I don't. I know that you're my daughter but things have been hard for me and Gerard. I wish he told me about adopting you because I would've been fine with it" She sighed

"He didn't tell you?"

"Nope, that dork just went to the adoption centre and signed my  name as the mother" She chuckled but it soon faded "Don't ever think you're not wanted here. Gerard told me about your life when you ran away. I'm sorry to hear about that" She whispered and I shrugged. "We will all be here for you when you need us" She smiled and I returned a smile.

Lyn-z just went from bad to good? What the hell is happening to the world? I can't say I didn't like it but it just was... Weird! She was actually trying to be a nice mother to me? Wow. Maybe life is getting better?