Remember Us? (M/M)

27.

'Jay?' It comes out pained and shocked. A broken mans voice.

'Wh.. I don't understand. What are you doing here Tim?' He was standing right in front of me. But how was he here? It was then that I notice the washing basket in the corner. The shirt he was wearing to work yesterday was in there on the top. 'But... I thought... Is this not my place?'

He looks to the mess I have left on the bed and the floor. Boxes spilled out everywhere. His face sinks. 'Shit. Erm. Well no. I mean. Well. Shit.' He is lost for words.

'I think you better explain because that didn't make anything clearer.' I tensed up. This wasn't right. This was one of those moments when you realise things are about to change and not for the better.

He chokes out 'I don't know where to start.'

'The beginning.' I reply. 'Why are you here?'

'This is my apartment Jay.' And there it was. I was in his home. I had no right to be here - no wonder he was shocked to see me!

'I'm so sorry. I went running and ended up here without even thinking. You did say I came here sometimes. Maybe that's why I knew where to come.' I pause when I see his face.

'You did come here, yes.' I have no idea what inner turmoil he is experiencing. I don't think he really knows what to say.

The extra toothbrush! 'Omg you have a boyfriend! Are these his things?'

'Yes.' He looked to the floor and my heart sank. He had someone else. No wonder he was reluctant to have me here. Oh god. Now I realise that I've probably been into him far more than he has been in to me. I'm his plaything. I feel used all of a sudden.

All I can think is that he must have a boyfriend like me and that's why he liked me. Curiosity must have gotten away with him and he cheated with me. 'I thought it was my secret place! I mean, look at this,' I motion to the things on the bed, 'they look like things I would own.'

'Yes.'

'Can you not think to say anything else?!' I was furious.

'I'm fucking all this up. I'm so sorry Jason.' I was about to go slap him but he quickly opened his mouth. 'I mean yes you came here, and yes I do have a boyfriend and yes they do look like things you would own. Because... Well it's you you idiot!' What?' You're my boyfriend and these are your things!'

Now I'm really confused. 'But I never gave you all this to store here. I've never seen it all before now.'

'Yes you did. Before the accident. And they weren't stored here - I shoved them all away this week when I said you could stay. I didn't want you seeing everything and getting confused and having all this happen. Or have all your memories come flooding back and you getting angry.'

'Before? What? I think you need to explain. Did you put a toothbrush here ready for me staying tonight?'

'You really don't get it do you?' He looks exasperated. 'You are my boyfriend. You came here before the accident a lot. You left a lot here. Is was just as much your place as it was mine. It's your toothbrush anyway.'

I feel relieved knowing he wasn't using me and there was no one else. 'I guess that makes sense. I needed a place to be me away from Tiffany and what better place than my best mates. I don't know why you were so worried about me coming here - that isn't anything for me to leave you over for god sake!'

'No Jay you don't get it. You were my boyfriend.' And the penny finally drops.

How could I not see it! This completely changes everything. 'You've been lying to me? Why haven't you said we were together before? Do you have any idea how much I've struggled to understand myself and everything around me. And you knew! You knew everything I needed to put it all together. And you didn't tell me. Why would a friend do that to someone?'

'If I'd have told you before, you'd have freaked!'

'No I wouldn't.'

'Yes you would have Jay! Be honest. If I'd have told you when you thought you were straight that I was your boyfriend and you were gay you would have ran a mile!' He had a point. I wanted to run from Tiffany and that was a more plausible scenario at the time - I suppose if you think you are straight and wake up one day with no memory, it would be much easier to believe you were with a woman than a man. 'See.' It was like he could see the cogs turning in my mind as the realisation hit that he was right.

'This is a lot to take in.' We stand in silence for a moment. I feel that I have a lot of burning questions to ask and I need to collect myself before asking. 'Is this a draw of my things then?' I motion to the more likely candidate containing the novelty underwear.

He nods. 'And the other is mine. You practically lived here and were about to move in properly.'

'Wait a minute. How come I found my grandparents rings in your draw?' His face sunk once more and he turned a shade of pink I'd never seen before. 'You weren't going to propose were you?! We've only been seeing each other a couple months.'

'Technically yes but that was before your accident. I'm not a crazy person thinking you'd want to get married when it's all new to you. I went to see your mother a week before your accident and was waiting for the right time to propose. She said I could take them to the jewellers and get them incorporated into something more suitable for 2 men. Obviously I put it all on hold.'

'So my mom already knows?! Oh... this is all such a mess. I think you need to start from the beginning.'

'I owe you that much. Come sit down and have a drink - I need one.'

We walk into the living room and Tim pours us a whiskey. I take a sip and sit.

Tim sits down next to me not knowing where to look. 'So. Ok, well we met how I said. I never lied to you. You were a confident little so-and-so.' He laughs and his eyes sparkle. I know he is telling me the truth. 'Love at first sight is an understatement.' My heart gives a little flutter but I'm still a bit angry. I let him continue. 'I knew you were straight though and kept it strictly work, for my own good. If I tried to be friends with you, there would be no way I wouldn't be able to flirt.'

I chuckle slightly as his voice warms at the memories he is having. 'So how did we become friends?'

'It started off by work running late with a deadline looming. I suggested we head to mine where we could eat and be comfortable and we might just finish the project on time and suddenly it became a thing. If work ran over, we'd head here and relax a bit and get things done. We quickly introduced beers and television breaks. And thus, a friendship was born.' He smiles and I smile.

'So when did the cooking begin? In the friendship or relationship? And how did that start?'

'Whoa, one at a time.' He laughs. 'Ok I'll just continue from the beers and try and fit in what I think you want to hear. You can ask me anything I left out at the end. Deal?'

'Deal'.