Pink princess

S E V E N

You want a perfect picture to believe it then you can't be looking for me babe I don't need to live by your rules.

You don't know me- Ariana grande (so good listen to it)

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Time seemed to stop as i laid there in my now ripped jeans and sweater I had put on after they basically tore it off me. I was crying and crying nobody was ever going to come find me I shouldn't even have my hopes up. No one actually cared enough to come look for me, I was a lost cause. not even being able to get up cause the pain I sat there wanting to rip my skin apart at the intense disgust I was feeling. It was all my fault I deserved this, for being such a slut. There was a lot of pain both physically and mentally I didn't even know which one was worse. The bruises on my thighs left hand imprints and the words they spoke left a scars in my brain. I doubt ill overcome this. I'd lose my job and everything would just fuck up again all because of me, this time I wouldn't even have my parents to blame I only had myself now.

What felt like hours later i heard heavy steps and immediately get scared and prepare to run; even through my pain. Never did i expect to see who I saw, I was ashamed that he was seeing me this way. It was Connor. I hadn't seen him In a long while and him seeing me this way was humiliating, i kept crying it was all so overwhelming. I think now just seeing him seeing me like this made everything sink in. I just got raped and now I'm all alone (well except for connor) will he really be there for me through everything? Even while I'm hurting over this. Connor walks closer to me and out of instinct I move away and whimper my eyes still dripping tears. He has this hurt expression as if he was offended that I be levied he would ever hurt me, I wasn't to sure of anything at the moment. He kneeled down at stared into my eyes.

"I'm going to hug you okay tro" his voice was like hot chocolate on a cold day so smooth and soft. I nodded and he hugged me. I needed it so bad I just wanted to be held and to have any previous thoughts escape my mind. Connor had that effect on people, with one Hug he could make anyone feel at ease and comfortable. I heard his low voice in my ear whispering  sweet nothings; though to me at the moment they were sweet everythings. I cried and he held me not worrying about my tears and snot getting on his shirt or the fact that it was late and we were in a very bad neighborhood. It was just us in each other's company.

"I'm going to call joey, ty, josh, and tyler they're freaking out trying to find you okay." Once again I nodded I tried to speak but my voice was raspy and am lost gone with all the screaming I had done. There were people looking for me? People cared about me, it was something that I'd never worried about until now. I realized I had a family, because family is whoever you trust and are comfortable around whether they be blood or not I had my very own family. This made me feel the slightest bit happy, i now knew i had people to count on whenever. I'd get over this. I was strong and had strong people all around me to support me and help me when i most need it. As con was on the phone i tried my very hardest to get up whimpering and screeching as i felt pain run up my spine. Finally getting fully up i held onto connor as if he was my lifewire.  Not quite catching what he had said he hung up the phone and turned to once again hug me. This time i returned it and we both stood there hugging each other like in a movie scene.

"I'm going to get over this con I have you and many other people to support me it'll take time but I will." I whispered my throat aching and the words barely coming out. "I will always be there when you need me troye wether it be at 4am or 9 pm just know that anything you need I will be there in a heart beat". Hearing his words I squeezed him tighter as my heart fluttered.

He moved me into his car bad drove off. I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding, being away from that part of town made me feel 10 times lighter. There was silence in the car that felt needed neither of Us had anything to say both to in our thoughts. 

"the guys and Zoe wanted to know if you'd like them to come over or if you just wanted to be left alone tonight" panic ran through me as I didn't want to be seen as an ass hole if I just wanted to lie in bed and cry at the events of tonight. "Hey tro it's okay if you want to be alone just let me know so I can tell them" he quick y stated after seeing the pain on my face. I didn't really like company before and definitely didn't want it right now. Maybe just maybe I wanted connor to stay over and hold me while I sleep I was bound to get nightmares and maybe he could be my knight and save me from having them.

I felt the car come to a halt and then it turn off, for a split second I thought we were stuck then looked around and saw that we were just at my conplex. Home never felt so far not even when I was feeling so alone after coming to America from Australia did i miss my home so much. I was finally safe and I never wanted to get leave my house ever again. I didn't even want to think that there was an outside world. Opening the door I was hit with warm air that made me feel better. I saw the girl who worked at the lobby give me a sympathetic look almost like she knew what had gone on. I just held my head down as connor walked me to the elevator and up to my door.

"I'm going to run you a bath okay" I nodded him sending a Thankful look because all I wanted to do was get out of these clothes (&skin) and just let my body relax in the water. I walked into the bathroom a few minutes of standing at the front door and just thinking. There were candles lit and bubbled filled way high in the tub. "Thanks so much for this" I told him and he just gave me this smile that had me swooning. He got out as i started to undress not at all wanting him to see me this way, I was normally comfortable in my own skin but right now I just wanted out of it. Like if I had a zipper and I could change skins and get rid of any evidence that tonight actually happen change my brain while I'm at it. I just sat there not even realizing that there were tears noe coming out of my eyes. I grabbed the loufa and started scrubbing at my skin, till it was raw red and bleeding.

This went on for a while I started at my left arm and i was down at my right leg all my skin was a red, i heard connor knock on the bathroom door and the  open it. "Hey I was just coming in to tell you im leav-" he stopped speaking as he saw what I was doing to myself "What the hell troye why are you doing this stop" he grabbed the loufa and threw it away then grabbed me carefully with a Towle in hand to wrap around my body. He pulled me into my room and as well as he could (without looking at me) dressed me as I was just in a daze. After I had boxers and an oversized t-shirt on he grabbed some lotion and rubbed it all over me. When he got down to my thighs I started crying the bruises were still fresh and hurt like hell even with his gentle hands.  I saw him frown and stop putting lotion on my thighs to go further down my legs and feet. Once he finished he grabbed some black knee highs and put them carefully on me.

"Please stay just tonight" my voice came out scratchy and strained. His head shot up and starred at me for a while as of thinking if this would be a good idea which it definitely was. He nodded his head saying yes and at that moment I was eternally greatful to have met him at the club and for everything he's done for me in the short amount of time we've met. Hopefully Tonight I'll be able to catch at least a couple hours of sleep.

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Whoa do yall even remember me anymore it's been forever. Sorry my mental health hasn't been the best and I'm on anti-depressants again *sigh* hopefully I'll get better soon I have met some amazing people lately at group therapy and even someone who has caught my eye. Anyways I love you and this might be very shitty I'm sorry. Okay I just realized it legit only uploaded a week ago it hasn't even been thay long oh whale.

It would make this sad noodle very happy and slimy (ew) if you voted commented and followed.

I love you lots.💙