Perfect

Perfect: Chapter Twenty One

Perfect

 

 

Chapter 21

 

 

Emma

 

 

Someone once said, “A young bride is like a plucked flower; but a guilty wife is like a flower that had been walked over.” I sighed; I am going to be a guilty wife if I don’t do something about this now. I am going to be a flower that has been walked all over, unhappy in my marriage. I sat in the nice chair behind the curtain of my fitting room at New York’s finest bridal shop. My puffy dress over flowed off the arms of the chair, and I stared at myself in the mirror with no emotion what so ever. My hair was flat and my eyes were droopy from lack of sleep-thanks to Beau. I had become skinnier than ever, and my dress was too big. Sickness had consumed me for the past week as my wedding approached closer as the days passed. I know it was only because of the guilty and shameful feelings. Our secret meetings had become an essential; Beau and I met at least four to five times a week for the three weeks. Even if it was only for thirty minutes at a time. Most of our times together were short, but were filled with an over flow of passion and lust.

 

Mostly, we met up at the suit at St. Regis and we would spend a couple of hours making love. That’s all. We didn't leave the hotel, ever. Nor did we meet up anywhere else. It was strictly a secret that we couldn’t let get out. Out of all the excitement from running around, I couldn’t help but feel the guilty pang constantly vibrating in my stomach. Of course, I wanted to be with Beau but what I was doing to Dean was…terrible. It left me feeling sick at my stomach constantly and I had totally become an emotional wreck. I couldn’t make myself break things off with Beau though; he was too perfect to let go. Half the time, we didn't speak about my wedding that was approaching. Nor did we speak of Dean, who already had an idea that I was cheating on him. Beau didn't ask me to leave Dean, and I didn't pressure Beau to tell me what he wanted me to do.  Even when I would begin to ask what we needed to do, I would be cut off by him with his words that I had come to know so so well.

 

“Things will work out the way they are supposed to. Pushing things won’t help.”

 

So, I did the only thing I knew. I let things go, and let fate take its course. Only now, I am worrying like crazy. I have been consumed with tons of different emotions, and I can’t even be around Dean without wanting to cry. Not because I feel guilty for cheating, but feeling guilty because I yearn to be with someone else.

 

I wiped away the single tear the strolled down my cheek feeling defeated. For some reason, I guess I felt as if this time wasn’t going to come. I felt like Beau and I would run around forever and not have to deal with the consequences we would soon run into.

 

As I glanced down to my watch, I realized I only had a half an hour to meet him before Dean would get off work. I pushed myself out of the chair and spun around in the poofy dress. Marriage is what I always wanted. A beautiful wedding had always been my dream. Why can’t I just let Beau go and marry Dean like I always wanted?