Stressed Out

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Lisa's POV

I slammed with the front door of our suite and tried not to burst into tears. "Hold yourself together, you wuss!" I whispered to myself angrily. "Don't you dare to cry!" I inhaled and closed my eyes, just to put myself together for a second. The moment I closed them, the memories of the past returned, "Not today, Satan!" I hissed and tightly grabbed my purse and quickly headed to the elevator. The door opened and I entered it, meeting my reflection in the mirror.

"You got to be kidding me!" I quietly criticized my appearance. Glaring at my own reflection, I figured out I had the biggest bags under my eyes, my skin hasn't looked so bad in months and I literally looked like crap.

I grabbed the mascara out of my purse and sighed, "She doesn't need me anyway!" I tried to make myself as presentable as possible, blinking the tears away. The elevator stopped in the lobby and I took the final glance at my appearance and nodded in satisfaction. I headed out of the Four Seasons, not knowing in which direction I was heading, but in a few minutes I found myself walking to a near park and I got to say it looked beyond ethereal. I walked through a hundreds of blossoming trees, it felt like I walked for miles, glancing left and right admiring the beautiful creations which were created by a number of clever human beings. For a moment it felt like I forgot about the troubling past, my horrifying fears and bad dreams that chased me almost every single night. I walked aimlessly, in deep thoughts, until a child throwing a fit at his mother, snapped me out of my own thoughts. Once again, I felt stressed out.

I sat on the near bench all by myself and breathed in the fresh air. This kind of fresh air, the smell of it reminded me of my childhood, but I can't put it into place. Childhood is easy, adulthood not so much, not even close to being fun at all. I was told that when I get older all of my fears would shrink, but now I'm insecure and care what people think. Everything would be easier if I could turn back into the past and repair some things, mostly repair things which are connecting me with Lauren. I wish we could turn back time, to the good old days when mom sang us to sleep, but now we're stressed out, the both of us.

If I could turn the smell which reminded me of my childhood, I would definitely turn it into a candle. But I would make just one and sell it to Lauren. It's because we have the same nose, we used to wear the same clothes and together roam through our Sacramento home. But the candle would remind us of the times when nothing really mattered. Out of student loans and tree house homes we all would take the latter.

We used to play with each other, play pretend and give each other different names, we used to built a rocket ship and then we would fly it far away. We used to dream of outer space, but now they're laughing at our faces saying we need to make more money. Why the hell is it all about money this days? Yes, it gives you financial security, but does it make you happy?

I just wish everything would be simpler and easier, but adulthood is full of difficult decisions and arguments that are meaningless and tear people apart. The things I left unsaid, I should do something with them...at least put them on a paper or something, to get rid of them in some way. Even if that means just for a moment, spilling my feelings on a piece of a crappy paper. I grabbed a notebook out of my purse and started scribbling something on the paper, getting my feelings out...which I hadn't done quite in a while.

Lauren's POV

No way I'll be running after her and beg her for forgiveness. There is literally no way! At the thought of her betraying me again, I clenched my teeth and sighed frustratingly. Who does she think she is anyway? In my mind I tried to block out our fight and not think about it, but it just angered me even more. In pure anger I frustratingly kicked into the wall with full strength, forgetting about my pain for a moment, but as soon as I did that the pain returned. Suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my leg, which actually was a cramp, but it felt like someone just ripped my right leg off my body.

The moment my pain returned, I screamed and felt the tears gathering in my eyes. It hurted so badly, but I clenched my teeth, trying to hold back the sobs, although it hurt like hell. The pain was so sharp I wasn't able to walk anymore, I tried to grab myself on the counter, but I slipped and in a sudden found myself falling on my face, laying on the laminate floor. I groaned and exhaled the air through my nose, holding back my tears.

I turned and now laid on my back, trying not to have a panic attack. "Shit!" I yelled out of pure rage and in a second felt something wet on my face. "Where is this water coming from?" I gritted my teeth and asked myself. I touched my face and realized, "I'm freaking crying...Lauren get yourself together, damn it!"

I can't even get up by myself, where's Lisa when I need her the most? My phone is on the other side of the room and I can't get it. Even though I hurt my right leg, my left one also hurts. I could crawl, but it would be no use...I tried to think clearly, but I just couldn't. My mind was blank, everything I thought I knew about pain was wrong! This was the worst case in which my legs hurt me this badly, despite my condition.

"Get up Lauren, get up!" I whispered to myself and tried to move my legs. The more I moved them the more it burnt. I knew I couldn't move, but at least I tried to crawl to the couch, but got tired quickly. On the floor there lied my notebook, I reached for it and reached for the pen also, trying to make myself busy, not wanting to burst into a panic attack or hysterical crying. I wanted to distract myself from the fact I couldn't walk and that scared the crap out of me. I started scribbling things on a piece of paper in the mood which would be described as anger, sadness and frustration all combined together. I angrily wrote the words on a piece of an already crinkled paper, the words I left unsaid.

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Long time no see :D How are you people? Anything new and exciting in your lives? Tell me in the comments below. I apologize for the delay of the updating, but I was editing three stories at the same time, work takes a lot of my time and I usually arrive pretty tired home and there's also application for college, which I'm applying for tomorrow. I had a couple of rough months, deciding which college to choose and figuring myself out...just a midlife crises at the age of 19, my fingers are crossed you won't have the same problems as I had xD So...comment in the section below, cause comments make me happy, but votes make me even happier ;) Big kiss, big hug and big loveee <3

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