Letters To Gavin.

Chapter 16

[A/N: i am so sorry for the wait, i've been so busy with school and other things and i'm sorry i made everyone wait because i said it'd be up sooner and i'm really sorry. i love you guys very much and i promise it won't happen again. ♥ -Mia]

(Michael's p.o.v)

 For the first time in a long time, I can honestly say I feel okay.

It's a beautiful Thursday afternoon, and we all know what Thursday's mean in the Achievement Hunter office.

VS.

This week was supposed to be Ray vs. Gavin, but since he's absent, Ray will be competing against Ryan.

"It's VS bitches!" I exclaimed.

Iron Ryan was being challenged by Ray, and we were all anxious to find out which game Ray had picked.

"I've been trying to please the people, Ryan knows what's happening." Ray started.

"Oh shit, I already know." Ryan said in monotone.

Soul Calibur was the game he picked, and it wasn't the fouth one, or the third one; it was the first.

"Soul Calib-uno." Ray said, earning a few chuckles. "Let's go!"

After much commentary and low kick from Voldo, Ray won again for the fourth time in a row.

"It's back." Ray said, cheerfully. "Everybody's happy again."

"How long is it going to be there for because when you tune in, it's going to be Jersey vs New York!" Geoff exclaimed.

We joked and laughed for the remainder of the time we were filming and decided to all take a lunch break.

"Which one are we going to? DoubleDave's? Pizza Hut? Home Slice?" Ray asked as we all headed out of the office.

"Home Slice." We said in unison.

We headed out into the warm air, all climbing in Geoff's car. 

"So Ryan." Jack started. "Are you disappointed about today's VS?" 

Ryan chuckled next to me; I was in the middle of the back next to Ray and Ryan. "Not at all, Ray is a great player, and I have fun playing in VS." 

"Thank you, Ryan. I love you." Ray said. We chuckled.

"I love you too, Ray." 

We parked on the side of the road and walked into Home Slice, which was busy even at lunchtime. We sat outside on a picnic bench as we ordered our drinks. 

"How have you been?" Geoff asked. I shrugged.

"I've been alright. The whole situation is complete bullshit, but I'm feeling a lot better than I was a week ago." 

"Good. It hurt to see you in so much pain." He replied, smiling as our drinks arrived.

I knew the others had questions for me too, but I'm glad they dropped it.

We ordered our food and talked about upcoming let's play's.

Even though the thought of him didn't hurt as much as it used to, I thought about Gavin. 

I wondered what he was doing, and what would happen when he came back. I had a few ideas, but I didn't like many of them.

To be honest, the thought of him coming back scared the shit out of me.

I don't even know if I can face him. 

Our pizzas were layed out in front of us, bringing my attention back to everyone around me.

"Dude, you okay?" Ray asked.

"Yeah, just lost in thought." I replied. He nodded.

We ate happily, and left a tip just before we left.

"Man, I'm so full. I don't think I could ever eat pizza again." Ray said as we drove back to the office. We laughed.

"Can we do more Achievement Hunter lunch breaks?" Ryan asked. 

"Hell yeah." I said, smiling.

We nodded in agreement, thinking of places we go to next week.

Back at the office, I decided to visit Barbara. 

I didn't bother knocking on her door, and just walked in, giving her a smile.

"Hey, Michael. I had a feeling you'd be showing up sometime." She said, grinning,

I laughed. "Whatever. How's RWBY?" 

"Great. I'm really happy about all the positive feedback it's gotten, and I'm even more excited to be apart of it." She said, beaming.

I smiled. "I'm really proud of you, Barbara." 

"I'm really proud of you too." She replied, giving me a small smile.

"Why?" I asked.

"You seem a lot happier. Everyone can tell." She said.

"Well, I'm not as bad as I was a week ago." I said. 

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"My nightmares stopped, and thinking of Gavin doesn't hurt as much as it used to. I don't really know why or how, but it feels like a healing wound. It still hurts every now and then, but not as much as it used to." I said, truthfully.

"Is this moving on?" Barbara asked.

That question really made me think.

I love Gavin, more than anything or anyone I've ever loved. He's everything I've ever wanted, and everything I need. I love him so much that I've allowed that love to ruin me. 

But love isn't a bad thing, and it shouldn't hurt as much as it really does.

It's not like those cheesy romantic movies, where they slowly fall in love and then something happens but oh look they get past it and it's happily ever after. 

You can't allow yourself to accept so much pain.

Either you let it ruin you, or you get over it. And I refuse to be let down by something like love. So yeah, I'll still love Gavin, but he doesn't feel the same way and I need to accept it. 

My nightmares are gone, and I've even regained control of my temper. 

Maybe this really is moving on.

"Yeah." I said. "I think so."