Love You Forever (2013 Wattys Finalist)

Chapter 40 - A Thousand Words

As soon as Robert had the door to his hotel room closed, he dropped his arm from around Georgie’s waist.  While he watched her wipe her face with her hands, there was loud laughter muffled through the door as the four blokes walked down the hall.  He knew it wasn’t a good idea to let her come in his room, but he wasn’t about to leave her out there in the hallway to face those smirking wankers when she was so vulnerable.

She looked up at him with sad eyes.  “Thank you, Robert,” she whispered.

“It’s – alright,” he said, and walked away from her to the bed closest to the window.  He sat with his back to her and leaned over, putting his head in his hands, feeling awful. 

Now that she was alone with him, he had a feeling he knew what she was going to talk about, and he didn’t want to have that conversation.  How was he going to keep from hurting her?  Even if he admitted the truth, that he hoped they could be together in the future, there was no way it wasn’t going to feel like a rejection to her.  But it would be far more cruel to tell her there was no chance.  He had a horrible feeling that whatever he said was going to crush her.

He kept his eyes closed, wanting to put off the moment he’d have to talk to her for as long as possible, but it was so quiet he could hear her approach him.  She stood close enough he could hear her breathing while he waited.

“Robert, I –,” she started out hoarsely, then stopped and cleared her throat.  “I want us to be together again.”  His heart sank.

“Please, Georgie.  Don’t do this, alright?” he begged her quietly.

“But I love you.  I love you so much,” she said, her voice filled with pain.

“I – know that,” he managed to choke out, his chest aching unbearably. 

“So – can we – be together?” she asked hesitantly, her voice shaky.

“I – just don’t think it’s a good idea right now, alright?  I –.”

“No!  Please, Robert!” she cried out, making his heart break even more.  He hated this. 

“I’m sorry.  Maybe when you –.”

“Why?” she asked desperately. 

“Because I can’t take the chance you’ll reject me again, that’s why!” he said more forcefully than he’d intended, quickly wiping the tears that had leaked out of his eyes. 

“I know I made the wrong decision!” she cried.  “I promise I’ll never do it again!” 

“You did it last week!” he said, looking at her with astonishment.  There was a moment of silence while she looked startled.

“What?” she asked. 

“Last week, Georgie!  On the train!”

“The train?” she asked faintly.  Then he saw recognition in her eyes.  “You mean when I got mad on the train?”

“Yes,” he said, putting his head in his hands again.

“But Robert, I thought you understood – I was mad at me – not you.”  He looked up at her.  “I wanted to show you how much better I was doing – and then I got scared.  I was angry because – because I felt like a failure.  I don’t want you to have to take care of me – but instead –.”  She didn’t finish, sounding defeated.  

He felt terrible.  She’d tried to tell him that night, but he’d assumed he knew why and hadn’t let her. 

“I’m sorry about the misunderstanding,” he said quietly.  “I didn’t realize, but – I still don’t think we should –.”