Storytime

Chapter 13~ Comatose

Josie POV:
I can't open my eyes. Why can't I open my eyes? Oh god.
But not about me. Is Illeya okay? I shouldn't have left her. I can't leave her. I can't. She's gotta be okay. She's gotta be.
Illeya POV:
As I stand outside the doors of the hospital, my pocket begins to vibrate. I pull my phone out and check the screen. The number comes up as unknown and I am induced with a paralysing fear. If I answer it, it could be my dad and who knows what could happen if it is him. If I don't answer it, do I really have a choice? But before I can make a decision, the phone stops ringing. The breath I didn't realise I was holding is released. But I can't get rid of the fear that tightens around my neck, constricting me from entering those doors.
My phone vibrates again. When I unlock the screen, it reveals a text that scares the hell out of me.
Meet me by the trees in 5 minutes or Josie dies.
I know it can only be from one person. The thought of him scares me so much that I can't move. But I have to. I can't let Josie die because of me.

The trees breathe the air that stiffens around me. I breathe heavily, sweating from the fear of what he's capable of. For all I know, he could have killed Josie already. But no. He wouldn't have done that. He wants to make me suffer.
Not even a knife can cut the tension that hangs in the air. It is like a python was around my shoulder. My throat is so raw I can barely even form a whisper and it feels like I'm being strangled. The feeling of being so scared that you actually lose control of your life, of who you are, it cripples you. It leaves scars that will never heal and that hurt you for life. You can't come back from it. Any of it. And that scares me more than any of this shit.

Footsteps. Crunching, echoing. The leaves fly in a spiral around me as the wind blows the across my face. A soft but vicious breath is the next thing to reach my cheek. Fear constricts me again and I find myself on my knees, staring out at the landscape before me with a blank expression and blank eyes. I become numb to all that surrounds me and I lose myself in the calm breeze. The only thing I feel is his arm wrapping around my neck but the constriction is nothing unfamiliar to me. I don't even care about the fact I can't breathe. All I hear is a faint, distorted muttering as I drown the world around me out. I hear Josie's last words ring in my head and I focus on the one and only time I told her I loved her. I focus on it and I wish that she knows it, I hope that when she wakes up she will know that I love her. She will know that I did everything I could. She will know what I wanted us to be. She will know all the things I wanted to say to her, all the things I wish I had. And all the things I never got the chance to. I hope that when she opens her eyes, she opens them to someone she loves. The only thing I wish is that it could have been me. That I should be the one she opens her eyes to. But I have to face up to the fact that I won't be there when she wakes up. And I most likely won't even wake up myself.

Josie POV:
My mind is a cloud of white. A blank canvas, with the exception of this one thought that niggles at me.
A part of me is so afraid. Afraid of never waking up but afraid of waking at the same time. Not in that sense. But I'm afraid that if I wake up, she won't be there. She won't be there for me to tell her I love her. She won't be there for me to say all the things I should have when I had the chance. To say sorry for what I did to her. To say sorry for not admitting the truth to her. To tell her that she's loved. To tell her that she's worth it. To ask her why she even thought she wasn't, even for a second. She didn't deserve to be the girl standing out in the middle of that road. She didn't deserve to be feeling like that. I don't deserve her. I really don't.
In my heart, I know something is wrong. Not with me, but with her. My heart desperately tries to tell me something but my mind is too messed up to work it out, to translate it. I don't give in. I never give in. And I know that something is terribly wrong. Then I'm afraid of that too. What if she's hurt? What if she tries again? What if she feels guilty? What if she never knows how much I love her? Oh god, what if she's dead?
I know I can't think like that. But after today, I realise anything could be possible. She could be lying on that road right now, just like me, and nobody to come and rescue her. She could be sitting in her room, thinking terrible things, with no one there to tell her it's okay. I need to tell her it's okay. That I'm okay. That it's not her fault.
But I can't. I can't speak. I can't get up. I can't escape from whatever darkness my demons have pulled me into. If I know one thing, I can't go back to that place. For the first time ever, I'm nor worried about my image. Or my reputation. People are gonna think I'm some depressed emo but I don't give a shit anymore. I love her. And if she's not okay, then I can't be either. And I know, somehow, for a fact that she is not okay. Which means I may as well be already dead.