(Kellin)
Do you know that feeling you get when you're all alone and a certain sense of dread and sadness washes over you like a tidal wave? no warning and no time to react, just time to deal with it. A dark abyss that swallows your mind whole and leaves you feeling like an empty shell rather than a human being. No emotions, no drive to do the things you love, no sleep? I guess some of you would call it depression, but i don't like to label it or self diagnose. Its been about a week...i think...I haven't left the house sense Vic left to go stay at his parents house. No texts, No calls, he hasn't even been on twitter since he left. Not talking to him is beginning to feel like I've quit something cold turkey. Vic was my drug, my rock, my best friend, my world. I could go on and on about everything he was to me, but none of that would bring him back to my side. I fucked up big time and I just hope he comes back or at the very least forgives me for hurting him and betraying him. I deserve to loose him, but my heart just wont let him go. Hell, I haven't even heard from Cam sense i left him behind after kicking him in the nuts. That thought makes me wonder and scared about when he would reappear.
I was laying in the bed for the second day straight thinking about what i could do to make it up to Vic. I grabbed his pillow and snuggled into it, breathing is lingering scent from it. Oh Vic....I hope my idea works.
I ran into the shower and quickly cleaning myself then stepping out into the steamy bathroom. I wrapped the towel around my pale skinny waist. Which reminds me, i should eat something, I cant even remember the last good meal i had. I brushed my teeth then opened the door leading to our bedroom. Now what to wear? In less than 15 minutes all the clothes i owned were strewn around the bedroom. I decided on black skinnies, a white button down shirt, and a black bow-tie. I got to look my best for this. I walked back into the bathroom which was now clear and blow dried and styled my hair the messy way i like it. I picked up my phone and checked the time. 5:13 pm. Okay i had time. I ran out the door, grabbing my keys and heading to my car. I sped through town, i'm lucky i didn't get a ticket by the time i reached the grocery store in record time. I walked through the aisles picking out the things i needed then going to pay for them and drive to Vic's parents house as fast as i possibly could. It was 6 by the time i pulled up in the driveway and ran over to the door to ring the door bell. Oh shit this better work.
A few seconds later Vic came to the door but when he saw it was me his polite smile was replaced by a surprised frown.
"What kellin?" He asked in annoyance.
"Vic. I fucked up i know. But please please please come with me and i will make it up to you. Please Vic. I'm begging you. I'm throwing all my cards out on the table and trying to show you how sincere i can be right now. I just need you to come with me." I ran out of breath talking and he just stood there with a blank look on his face.
He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, "Okay kellin."
I grabbed his hand and pulled him to the car, opening the passenger door for him and closing it after he sat down. I ran over to the drivers side and turned on the engine, pulling out and heading far outside of the city to a perfect place i know to take vic. The love of my life.
