{hey guys don't have much to say but this chapter is all of Harry's feelings and thoughts and its going to be short because my mind is blank and most of my ideas come from dreams and stuff well ENJOY}
I was laying bed , Alex was fast asleep on my left side.Most of the time I am cuddling with her and just messing around but today I just didn't want too. I do like her and all ,but today I felt depressed,I guess you can call it.
I haven't spoken to Niall and it hurt me,he is my best mate. He is my brother, my other half, he is my Patrick and I am spongebob.I always have fun with him, his laugh is adorable.Yes I just called Niall's laugh adorable, but its fine because that's how close we are. It really hurt when he made me choose between him and Ale, but he had to comprehend that I liked Alex and I was giving "us" a chance.Let me tell you Niall is good at the whole not talking you thing.When we would have band meetings or rehearsals ,all the lads would talk,but Niall would just ignore me like I was a fly on the wall. I am pretty sure I am not that invisible , I have a big mob of curly hair it's noticeable.
When ever I would make a joke or say a suggestion he would just blow it off.A lot of times I wanted to scream at him and tell him he was acting like a child. The thing is that wasn't going to get me anywhere, we would have just gotten into a big argument.
Also he has been in a depressing mood himself ,these two past days.I could tell he does like Alyssa so much,I could see it the first day he saw her. I feel bad for the whole kissing thing between Niall and Alex,the thing is I don't know who kissed who. I am scared to even ask one of them what really happened? The thing is if I ask Niall he would just ignore me and then say"why would you ask me that,you should believe my side since its the truth" and then blah blah blah. If I ask Alex she would most likely get mad at me and then we would have more drama then what we have know.
It's really late, already and I still have a lot of my mind still. I got up to pee,when I came back to lay down Alex woke up.
"Harry?" She asked while standing on her elbows
"Yes." I asked
"Why did you get up"
"Cause I had to pee"
"Oh k i thought you left or something"she said almost sounding like she was falling asleep.
"No not all just go back to sleep"I said paying down and turning the opposite way
She didn't reply and fell back to sleep almost like she didn't care.
Now that I think about it Alex does sometimes act weird around me and Niall. She is different from other girls and stuff but guess that is fine. She has asked me for a lot of things but not so much. Like these two pasts day we have gone shopping twice and every time we come out she has at least three things. I am not really complaining ,because she likes something but then she puts it back. She doesn't have lots of money because she told me that her parents didn't leave her much money for the week. So towards the end I feel bad and I get it for her.She always says that's its fine that she doesn't really need it but I insist. The truth is I haven't really spent much on a girl like I Have with Alex. Maybe it feels weird because I have never done it before, but maybe I will get used to it. When we come home Niall sees the bags and always says a rude comment like "coincided much" , "drama queen always gets what she wants" ,or "poor of Harry's wallet using itself on something worthless". Yes , I know I should have gotten mad at him but I wasn't going to make things worst, like I said no need to fight. In the bottom of my mind I am just thinking not to fight because I just don't want the band to split up or anything. I know it's a big thought but anything can happen, and just in one day or even night.
I really don't know where I get all these thoughts and ideas, but in a way it's good because I don't really throw myself to things but I am a trustful person.i still have a lot in mind but I have to go to sleep Simon wants to talk to us tomorrow in the morning with management and some other big people who take care of our band. if I don't go to sleep know I will be in the baddest mood ever, in which I tell off people and don't give a shit what people say to me, also I kind of insult everybody I see. That's the way bad mood Harry works and I can't stop it.
I clear my mind, and slowly start to feel my eyelids go down and darkness over takes me.
(Hey guys I know it's boring and stuff but I just wanted you guys to know what was going on inside of sexy Harry's head so yeah
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Love nialljames13 <3 <3 <3
