I Love You but You're Real

eighteen

As I approach my apartment building, I can't help but glance toward the park. The bench where Lana had been sitting is empty.

I turn my thoughts elsewhere as I walked into my apartment building. How should I start on my journey? How in the heck do I find out my purpose for being here? My purpose for not being able to find you?

I successfully navigate my way through the teleportation box to my apartment and collapse on my bed. I toss my library book onto the table beside the bed.

I look at the library book sitting there. In it is the story of a real person.

I wonder, if I read every book in the library, would I have read your life story? Are you hidden somewhere on a shelf in the library?

I mean, reading every book in the library. That would only take about 47 years. Not including snack breaks.

I need something else.

That's when it hits me- what I need to do next. I sit up in bed, thinking.

To find my purpose, why I was brought here into FicCity, I need to go back to my origin. I need to go back to my room.

I run to my window, but I can see that the sun is beginning to set. It's not worth the trip right now; I'll just have to wait until morning to journey back to my place of origin. Then I'm have the entire day to myself to figure this mess out.

My stomach growls. I need something to eat. With a groan I roll off of my bed and onto the floor and pad out of my apartment, down the hall, and into the teleportation box.

Down in the lobby I tap a character on the shoulder.

Me: Excuse me?

Stranger: Yes?

Me: Can you point me in the direction of a restaurant or somewhere I can get dinner?

The character describes a cafe right next to our apartment building. She says it's where most characters from this building hang out in the evening.

I wonder if I'll see Lana there.

I'm sorry, my dear Voice. I will never stop talking to you. I promise. But sometimes... well, I need a friend who I know can hear me. I will never replace you.

But I see Lana when I walk into the cafe. Somehow, she looks up just as I enter. I hope I don't look too lost.

I must look lost. She waves me over.

Me: Hi, Lana.

I don't know why I said that. I just had a surge of courage. Why did I say that? What if she doesn't even remember me? She'll probably run away, thinking I'm a stalker or something.

Lana: I'm so sorry, remind me of your name?

Why did I say her name? Why did I say her name? I'm such an idiot. She doesn't even remember me. She was just trying to be nice and help out the new kid.

Me: Rhys.

Oh, God. I should just walk away.

Lana: Yes, Rhys! I'm so sorry. I'm terrible at remembering names.

She pats the empty seat beside her.

Lana: Here, have a seat. I haven't ordered any food yet, do you want something?

She lets me peep over her shoulder at her menu and then calls the waiter over to order for both of us. When the waiter leaves, Lana whispers something intelligible under her breath.

Me: Sorry, what was that you said?

Lana: Oh, my apologies. I was speaking with my Voice.

My stomach seems to flip upside down as I try to keep an even fave. I'm not ashamed of you, Voice, but I want to fit in. I try to act casual.

Me: Oh.

The silence afterward feels like an infinity so I scramble to make conversation.

Me: So, what do you do? For your job I mean. What kind of book are you from- er, in?

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

But Lana grins at me.

Lana: I have just about the coolest job ever. I'm the heroine in a fantasy novel. My Author's not even halfway done with the story yet, but it's so much fun already! I have to travel around different realms looking for magical artifacts while fighting off trolls and goblins. Oh, sorry. I don't mean to bore you. What book are you in?

Me: I'm not bored at all; that sounds so amazing. I, uh- my Author is having some, er, complications right now, so I don't have a story.

I curse in my head. I should have made something up. She won't want to befriend someone who doesn't have a story, let alone a Voice.

Lana: How bizarre! I've never heard of anything like that before. You know, you should come along with me to my set someday. I can show you how to kick some mountain-troll butt!

Did she just say what I think she said? Dear Voice, she wants me to watch her story!

Me: That would be great!

Before I can say anything more, a waiter arrives with our food. We fill our stomachs without conversation to take up the empty space, and all too soon Lana says goodbye. I sit at the café table alone and rest my chin on my hand.

Voice, I don't think FicCity will be too bad. I feel as though I have a newfound sense of purpose, and tomorrow I will set out to my origin to see what answers I can find. I have a home and Dug as my confidante. I have Lana, who is, dare I say, my friend. This all is good, Voice. But you know what would be even better?

Being able to hear you. Being able to hold a conversation with you. And someday, I will. I know this.

I leave the café with my head held high and make my way back to my apartment, my... home. A final glance at the book on the bedside table fills my mind with so many questions and curiosities.

Eventually, sleep takes me and my spinning head finds peace.

A/N: I know, I know. I am an awful person: I break my promises and I suck at updating my stories. This is a fact. But besides all of that, I want to thank you guys again for your continuous support! Just keep commenting and bugging me to update because you deserve more than what I've been giving you. (:
Much love as always,
Em
(P.S. It's late at night and I did not edit this so my sincere apologies ahahhah)