The Watchers Wake

Chapter 34 - Stay Away From the Light

CHAPTER 34 - Stay Away From the Light

I started to stomp around the small deck of the boat but soon gave up on that idea, not enough room.  So instead I lowered myself into the water and swam away from the boat in the opposite direction to that which Scott had swum.   He was the one who owed me the apology and I wasn’t going to be the girl who hung off him and allowed him to walk all over me. 

I lay back in the water and watched Aze and Adam having a huge water fight.  They seemed so relaxed, laughing and fighting like this was normal – an everyday occurrence.  Maybe this was for them? 

Scott wasn’t with them and I didn’t want to know where or what he was doing instead I lay back in the water to look at the moon.   I ground my teeth as my anger burnt inside me. 

What was I doing?  What exactly did I expect?  I was paired with a Jock.  All he seemed to understand was physical.  We didn’t even really know each other but that didn’t seem to make any difference.  He was nothing but walking hormones. 

I can’t do this.

I do know you.  I know you better than you know me, quite obviously.

Are you listening to me?  Don’t I get any privacy anymore?

Well stop shouting at me then!

I tried not to think.  I was too angry.

And I don’t just want the physical, I want it all.  Can’t you see I want all of you?   I might be a Jock to you but really I am just a man and you are the most beautiful, the most intelligent and the desirable woman I have ever known. 

“And I can’t stop thinking about you or wanting you,” his voice whispered at me.

I almost sat up in the water I was so surprised.  I didn’t hear him approaching.  His hands reached for me just to catch me until I recovered my fright.  Then they loosened their hold.

“Sorry, this is more private than our thoughts at the moment.” He looked at me as we both tread water.  “What is really wrong?”

“I don’t know what you mean?”

“Yes you do.  There is more to this than you are telling me.  So what’s really wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?” he laughed softly.  “You can’t lie to me Natalie.  I can feel your emotions.”

Ohh hell, I had forgotten about that.  Damn.  I would have to tell him.  

“It scares me alright.”

His arm pulled me closer, “I would be gentle with you, I wouldn’t ...”

“Yeah thanks, thanks for that.” I shook my head.  What was I thinking - of course his first thought was sex.

“Well, what did you expect me to think?  Look I am sorry but you have to tell me or I am going to jump to conclusions.”

“It’s not that, well Ok that does scare me too, but not just that.” I released a deep breath and looked at his face in the moonlight.  Jari said I had to trust him.  That we could bring about this link we were suppose to have if we could be open and honest with each other.  Well this was as good of a place to start as any.

 “I don’t want to rush this Scott.” I felt the words fighting to come out.  I knew that now I had started I was going to have to tell him it all, “I don’t want to miss out.  I want to do this right.  I know that we haven’t done anything normal but we haven’t even really dated and suddenly we are soul mates destined for each other.  It sort of takes the romance out of it.  If this is true then you are my first and my last boyfriend.  We might as well get married now because this is it.  If fate is right this is all I get.  Don’t get me wrong.  I love you and I am amazed and slightly awed that you seem to feel the same about me.  But that’s just it.  I am still trying to get my head around it all and how I feel about you.  It’s all new to me.  I know you have done it all before, but I haven’t.”