Project Fat Suit

Seven: Yelling at Staff Members

Chapter Seven: Yelling at Staff Members

“Tiger.”

“Dinosaur.”

“Frog.”

“Salamander.”

“Fish!”

“Okay, now you’re just shouting out random animal names,” I chuckled, turning my head to face Kurt, who was still staring intently at the ceiling trying to find blurbs that looked like animals.

“Turtle!” he exclaimed, pointing at the ceiling excitedly.

“Sure, Kurt.”

“You’re just jealous because this is the seventy-sixth game I’ve won. And how many have you won?” Kurt faced me with a haughty look, adding a very patronizing “Hmmm?” at the end.

“But you cheat,” I defended myself.

“How many?” he continued to rub salt in the wound.

“Five,” I lied. My real score was measly two and a half.

“Liar!”

“Whatever, this game is rigged, anyways.”

“Rage quitter,” Kurt sang as I got up from the cold floor.

“Please, you swept the whole chess board off after you realized that I was going to win. Compared to that, this is like trotting away happily on a pony,” I scoffed as I took a seat on the couch.

“I’m Rena and I think it’s cool to make fun of my brother,” he mocked me in a shrill, squeaky voice.

“Yup, that’s me,” I mocked his mock voice.

Kurt glared at me, still lying on the floor. “I’m borrred,” he declared a moment later, deciding that it was okay to climb on the couch and place his feet on my lap. “How’s life, baby sis?”

I looked at him weirdly for using the term ‘baby sis’, but let it slide. “Splendid,” I answered joylessly as I attempted to shove his feet off of my lap.

“Well, you don’t sound too happy about it.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” I apologized insincerely. “My life is full of chocolate rainbows and butterflies,” I said with more enthusiasm.

“You know, that could be your audition for the part of Dorothy.”

“You’re stupid.”

“You’re face is stupid.”

“Shut up.”

“Okay,” Kurt agreed nonchalantly. “So what about Cashier Guy? What was he doing at our house?”

“Are your eyebrows itchy?” I asked, in response to his eyebrows that had apparently taken Five-Hour Energy and now jittering all over the place.

“No,” he replied, scowling as his eyebrows fell back into place. “But anyways, what about the guy? Is my misanthropic little sister starting to bloom into a colorful, social butterfly?”

“You’re doing it again.” His eyebrows had gone up about an inch.

“I really don’t care, Rena. This is the first time I’ve seen you talking to someone other than me, Dad, or Sherry.”

It was odd seeing Kurt like this. He was my odd, older brother, who teases me about the weirdest things and tends to dress like a hobo. He was definitely not all serious and constantly poking into my life.