♪Battlefield♪;{JONAS The t.v show}

♪Battlefield♪;{JONAS The t.v show} Episode Thirteen

If you asked me how long I had sat there crying, I couldn’t tell you. I just knew it was much too long.

It didn’t help that I played the audition over in my head — both the practice run with Nick and the real one at school. What had I messed up on? Or maybe it really was just that the girl who’d gotten the part was simply better. Maybe it was both.

Now don’t get me wrong; I don’t think I’m better than everyone else. It’s just that I was so sure I did so well that I was definitely in.

I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I almost didn’t hear the locker room door open.

Almost.

There were voices but I couldn’t make out what they were saying. A moment later the voices stopped and the door closed. I pressed my lips tightly together to stop from making any noise. I sniffled as silently as I could and leaned into the wall, listening to the footsteps move around the locker room, searching for something.

　

“Rayne?”

I blinked when I heard my name and started to panic when I realized it was Kevin. “Rayne, are you here?” His shoes scuffed against the floor as he cautiously made his way to the stalls. Quickly, I pushed myself up and climbed onto the toilet, careful to not fall in. He stopped moving for a minute before he moved over to the stall I was in. I could see his sneakers. “Rayne, you okay?” He asked. How did he know that I was in here? Even if he had heard me, it could have easily been anyone else trying to stay in this stall. “Can you open the door?” He requested, tone soft.

I hesitated. I was sure I looked all puffy and red from crying, and my voice probably sounded horrible. I didn’t want him to see me this way. Clearing my throat, I got off the toilet. “Promise you won’t laugh,” I whispered hoarsely, hand against the lock.

“I promise,” he said, “on all my guitars. Just open the door, Rayne.”

Taking a deep breath, I unlocked the stall door and moved back, gaze falling to the side, not wanting to see any pity in his eyes. Kevin gently pushed the door open and stepped in, a soft sigh leaving his lips.

“Rayne—”

“—I’m okay, Kevin.” We both grew quiet at how sharp my voice sounded. “I-I’m sorry…” My gaze flickered over to Kevin’s as I spat out my apology.

“…It’s okay.” He reassured, shrugging lightly. “You’re upset—”

“—I’m not upset,” I cut in, this time my tone was soft. “I’m disappointed in myself.”

“Why?” Kevin asked. “You did a great job.” My gaze fell because I didn’t believe him. No matter how convincing he sounded. I wanted to tell him how wrong he was, but I would have just sounded like a drama queen. And that’s exactly what I was being. I parted my lips to say something when I felt myself being pulled into a hug. It wasn’t tight, but it felt like my chest was being crushed — like it was hard to breath. All because Kevin’s hug was just what I needed and didn’t know I wanted.

My arms wrapped around his neck and my face pressed into his shoulder. His arms fell around my waist and he held me tightly, protectively. I took in his cologne, a scent I’d come to like. It was calming; a invisible blanket of security. It was hard not to cry in his arms, but I held it in because I was done crying. I would move on from this and just support those who did get parts in the play. I sighed and pulled back, smiling weakly at Kevin. “Let me wash my face so we can go meet up with everyone, okay?” My hands fell from his shoulders to his forearms, giving a gentle squeeze. He nodded and I stepped around him to get out of the stall to walk over to the sinks.

I washed my hands before splashing my face with cold water. After drying my face, I took out my makeup bag and reapplied the small amount of makeup I had on earlier on in the day. Looking at my reflection, I looked fine. Like I hadn’t been crying at all. I looked down to put everything back into my makeup bag. “So… Is everyone going home or are we all going to your place?” I asked Kevin, still unsure if I wanted to hang out. I waited a beat. “Kevin?” I turned around and gasped, looking up at Kevin, surprised at how close he was. “Kev-“

I froze when he cupped my chin and leaned in, brushing his lips over mine. My heart stuttered and my mind began racing. What was going on? Why now? Did Kevin like me? Or was he just trying to cheer me up? Because that was definitely not a way I would have thought of. And I couldn’t stop myself from leaning into his lips, kissing him softly.

But then I realized what we were doing and I pulled back, eyes wide. He stared down at me, searching for some kind of reaction. After a few minutes I finally let out a breath and looked away. “Oh my… Kevin I..” I looked back at him and he looked down, pain etching across his features. I frowned and reached up to frame his face between my hands, gently turning his head so that our gazes could meet.

“I—I don’t know what this…means. It’s too soon, but don’t… Don’t give me that look.” My frown deepened at his pout. “Look, I like you, but I don’t know….if…”

“I.. I know. We’ll…figure this out. I don’t know why I kissed you now, but… I don’t regret it,” Kevin said, taking the wheel. He placed his hands over mine and leaned in to kiss my forehead.

“…Can we keep this between us until we figure out what it is?” I asked, looking up at him from under my lashes. His pout was gone and he nodded a bit, though there was a hint of a frown along his lips. I took a deep sigh. “We should…go.” Kevin nodded and laced his left hand with my right — a perfectly normal thing for us. Even now it felt normal.

I gave his hand a squeeze and he led us out of the locker room and around the halls to where everyone else was waiting by our lunch table.

“Rayne, you’re okay!” Joe cried out, rushing over to hug me tightly. The force had taken my hand away from Kevin’s and I almost wanted to push Joe away to get it back, but I didn’t. I hugged him back and laughed softly.

“Of course I am.” He pulled back and gave me a knowing look, so I gave him one that said, ‘We’ll talk later,’ and he nodded. Joe kept an arm around me as we turned to face the others. They all watched me carefully and I rolled my eyes at them. “I’m fine,” I promised.

“We’re taking your word for it, missy.~” Stella sang out. I leaned my head against Joe’s shoulder as he turned us around to lead the way out of the school. “Hey Kevin… Are you wearing lip gloss?” Joe and I stopped and turned to look at Kevin, who indeed did look like he was wearing lip gloss.

My lip gloss.

“What? No. Why would I be wearing lip gloss?” Kevin asked as nonchalantly as he could — which didn’t really seem that convincing. I quickly licked my lips free of lips gloss and froze when I saw Nick staring at me. His brows creased and his head tilted a bit before his gaze flickered over to Kevin. I could feel my heart pound against my ribs and I turned me and Joe around, continuing to lead the way out.

If Nick found out, what were the chances of him keeping it a secret? I wasn’t ready to explain something even I didn’t understand.