Two Messed Up Minds & Hearts

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{Warning: NOT edited}

*Jag's PO.V*

It has been two weeks since i have last seen Austin, and i have really started thinking that maybe he left me. 

I am after all not someone that is easy to be with. With everything that happened it's no wonder if he left me or gave up on me. I would probably give up on someone like me too. 

It's just really hard to believe those words you know, that someone gave up on you. You try to hold on to that hope that maybe you're just being paranoid, and that they will walk in through the door every second now and tell you how they just played a stupid prank on you and then drown you with kisses, apology and love . 

But this is reality and Austin didn't walk in through that door for fourteen days and three hours.

I blinked tiredly staring at the clock at the wall that was showing a little over 3 am. as i was leaning on the wall keeping an eye on the door. 

I heard a door open before shuffling and then i felt a hand on my shoulder making me jump in surprise before i turned my face and found  Dean looking at me with a sad look on his face. 

"Jag... why aren't you still in bed? You have been sitting here for over a week now. When was the last time you slept in your bed now?" he asked making me blink and stare at his lips trying to focus on his words before i rubbed my eyes and turned back to the entrance door. 

Waiting. Hoping. Dying.

"I don't remember...a day or two maybe?" i asked confused. My mind felt like a maze with a deep mist thick mist in it. I couldn't seem to focus on anything or anyone anymore. 

I realized that i was addicted, lost and simply dying of heartbreak because of Austin. And i hated that. I don't remember my old self anymore. I turned into someone i don't recognize anyomore. What happened to the old Jag that never let anyone come near him like that? That never let anyone make him fall that low? 

Austin. That name made my heart ache, and my nails grave deeper into my skin causing bloody scratches and scars. I tried to get him out of my mind for a second, but it was as impossible as trying not to breath. 

"No Jag...it has been more than a week since you last sleept like a human or that you slept at all. You must have gotten maximum two hours of sleep, tops. You haven't eaten for four days now, so frankly you are starting to look like a skeleton, because you were skinny in the beginning and you've only gotten thinner! You can't keep on treating yourself like that. You're killing yourself on the inside and now it starts to show on the outside. Brother, snap out of it!" he begged as he grabbed my shoulders and shook me making me try to focus on him before i blinked and for a second i saw clearly. 

I saw everything. 

I saw myself as if i was watching TV, everything felt so unreal. What have i done?

Austin. 

*SLAP* 

I felt a sharp painful sting to my cheek before i looked at Dean in surprise when i saw that he was ready to slap me once again. I wanted to grab his wrist but stopped myself from doing so knowing that he did it for my sake. 

And it helped. I started to wake up slowly from my nightmares of walking around in circles in a maze that only led me to my death. 

I blinked before i suddenly felt my sight blurry and seconds later Dean was holding around me as if his life was depending on it. I felt the world shaking and someone crying. I was wondering why Dean was crying. Was he in pain?

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