Nick

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Was I wrong about Ripley?

People don't change, they reveal who they really are. Could it be true? Maybe Ripley isn't such a stone cold hearted bitch after all?  Or maybe she was just fake apologizing to me to get back at me later? So many questions.. I need to stop finding a reason to live. Ripley is just a girl, she won't change anything. I want to die, I'm ready to die and no one can change that. Nobody. I couldn't concentrate during any class really. My mind kept wondering why Ripley was crying. But it was probably just her boyfriend.

"Mr.Colton, are you there?" I look up and see Mr. Porter staring down at me. It's history now? I thought it was chemistry.

"Uh, yes,I'm sorry Mr.Porter."

He carried on teaching again and i let my mind drift off. Do teachers care? Do they ever realize that their students were depressed? Do they care if their students are depressed? Do teachers notice the faint scars on my wrists, or do they pretend not to notice? When you're sad, you notice things more. Like band-aids on another's arm and the dark circles around their eyes. You look around your surrounding, with hope that maybe  , just maybe, you're not alone and that there's someone else just like you. Someone who would understand you, someone you could relate to. I hate being alone. Sometimes i'm surrounded by so many people but yet, i feel so alone.

Nobody sees that I'm hurting. Nobody notices the pain. It feels like everyone else is sitting in the sunshine while I drown in the rain.

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