In The Eyes of Gracie - Unedited Version - Being Rewritten

Chapter 7

I awoke to a scream. I jumped and looked up to see Gracie jumping to her knees in front of me.

"What the **** did you do, Ans? No! You're such an idiot! Why would you do this! God! You idiot!"

She reaches to grab my arms and I slap her arms away.

"Just go away!" I shout "Just leave me alone! I can make my own decisions too! Just go!"

Gracie look at me, "Ans, Ansley listen to yourself! Look at yourself!! You're bleeding! What were you thinking? God your so stupid!"

She tries to pick me up and I push her away as I stand up.

"No! Don't touch me Grace! Just go! Go get high!! Just leave me alone!"

Gracie stands up and pushes the chair behind her, "Fine! Deal with it your self! You're such an idiot Ansley!" 

I watch her walk out the door and I walk over to the sink and watch the blood mix with the water and trickle down my hand and into the sink. This is her fault. She did this. I grab a rag and hold it to my wrist as i sit back down at the table. She's such a hypocrite I think to myself, she can do it but I can't? Screw her. Screw all of this!! I don't need her. I don't need any of this. I'm just fine on my own. I never once needed her. She's the one who always needs rescuing. 

I walked into the bathroom as tears welded up in my eyes. I looked down at my wrists which had finally stopped bleeding. I violently tore at the faucet turning it on. I looked at myself in the mirror. Is that me? Who is this person looking back at me? I feel like I should know her but I can't even see past her eyes. I shake my head and look back down and splashed the cold water on my face. I turn the water off and fall bell back against the wall.

I grab the wall as if it is going to grab me back but it doesn't. I let out a heavy sigh as I walk back into the living room and lay down. I notice a bottle of vodka sitting on the coffee table and I take a sip of it. Not bad. I sit it back down but pick it right back up and take another sip. Then another. And another until I empty the bottle and chuck it across the room. I lay here again just thinking of the way things use to be before my mother died. I wish she would have taken me with her. 

I cringed at the thought of my mother leaving me alone. It was a harsh reality. I use to have nightmares about it but those passed. Now I just live everyday, knowing that i'm alone. I hate it. I hate it so much that it hurts. I don't know what I'm suppose to do anymore. 

I grab my jacket and walk out the door to leave. If I stay any longer, I'm just going to her myself and hurt Grace. I just can't do it anymore. I go to the kitchen and pull out a piece of paper and a pen. I write my best friend a note, and some money, then I walk out the door. I thought this place would be like home but no matter where I go, I'll never be at home. 

(I know this was short but trust me, its leading you to a very new perspective!)