Song Stories

"Bad Religion"

"Bad Religion" by Frank Ocean

[Verse 1] 

Taxi driver 

Be my shrink for the hour 

Leave the meter running 

It's rush hour 

So take the streets if you wanna 

Just outrun the demons, could you? 

He said "allahu akbar", I told him don't curse me 

"But boy you need prayer", I guess it couldn't hurt me 

If it brings me to my knees 

It's a bad religion

[Chorus] 

This unrequited love 

To me it's nothing but 

A one-man cult 

And cyanide in my Styrofoam cup 

I could never make him love me 

Never make him love me 

Love, love...

[Verse 2] 

Taxi driver 

I swear I've got three lives 

Balanced on my head like steak knives 

I can't tell you the truth about my disguise 

I can't trust no one 

And you say "allahu akbar", I told him don't curse me 

"But boy you need prayer", I guess it couldn't hurt me 

If it brings me to my knees 

It's a bad religion

[Chorus] 

This unrequited love 

To me it's nothing but 

A one-man cult 

And cyanide in my Styrofoam cup 

I could never make him love me 

Never make him love me 

No, no

[Outro] 

It's a bad religion 

To be in love with someone 

Who could never love you 

Only bad 

Only bad religion 

Could have me feeling the way I do

I chuckled from conversing with one of my good friends on the phone, as I just walked into my apartment--our apartment, at that. I shared my home with my recent fiance. The warm steamy air coming from inside the house didn't stir too quickly as our home was always cooling. I'm guessing he was home as I scanned the living room and say his keys on the counter. I could assume he got drenched by the heavy raindrops in the sky.

   "Alright, Lonny," I spoke through the phone, "I'm home safely... I'll see you at the office in the morning. Okay, bye." I smiled and hung up the phone, I gently closed the door and threw my raincoat on the hanger in the closet.

   "Ew, finally. I need to get out of these wet clothes," I thought as I shivered from the coldness of the current weather. Grinding on my teeth, I finally took of my high heels and threw them to the side. They caused much pain when you work ten hours straight from day to night. All I could think of, was getting home to my love, and cuddling up to some old Ginuwine songs. Such peaceful moments we shared, I felt like the number one girl in his life and the only one he cared for and needed. I blushed and combed my hair through my head full of wet, dripping sandy brown loose curls.

I grunted as I say the flight of the staircase I had to climb in order to get to my bedroom. I could just imagine him waiting on me with a blanket and a good movie, I was terribly wrong. As I trudged up the stairs, I began to hear muffled cries and noises. I couldn't justify whether it was the flat screen or the tree scraping against the window. Again, I was terribly wrong. Thinking the television was still on and he was taking a nap, I lightly twisted the doorknob.

As I creaked the door open wide, my eyes widened in disbelief. Everything I would've expected were torn out of proportion. My mind flew blank as I witnessed something I would never think the day would come. I quickly shut my eyes, trapping the tears in, but they trickled out of my eye sockets rolling vigorously down my cheek.

I blinked a few times, in case I was having hallucinations; never that. I made sure he couldn't see me peeking. I groaned in sadness and betrayal as I saw him under the covers with someone else. I could hear soft moans and loud groans escaping from their mouths. I became furious and betrayed as I thought he really loved me and was willing to watch me walk down the aisle to stand by him at the altar. My head was spinning in continuous directions. I slammed the door back against the wall, as I buckled my knees. My "fiance" and his lover turned towards the door as they discovered a loud thud by the door clashing with the wall. His eyes bulged and widened as he saw my puffy, red eyes, and my continuous tears.

   "Adri--," he began sitting up, struggling to pull his pants up.

   "H-how.....could.....you?" I struggled to make sounds come out as my thoughts overlapped each other.

   "Baby, I---" I cut him off once again, and watched as woman rose from under the cover.

   "Save it!" I backed away from him and ran as fast as I could down the towering stairs. I picked up my sneakers and slipped them on. Gripping my raincoat, I tossed it over my head and ran out grabbing my keys.

I ran out of our apartment, down the hallway to the elevator, down into the lobby, and straight out to the front. I shook my head, as more tears came. The rain swept under my rain coat, as I became even more soaked than before. I yelled for a cab, and got in, closing the door with a hard grip.

   "Where to?" The taxi cab driver repeated, "where to, ma'am?"

I told him my friend's address. He then took me to Lonny's apartment complex, and I hurriedly pulled out a crumpled twenty to the cab driver.

   "Keep the change," I grumbled as I rushed out if the back seat and ran over to his apartment. Banging on his front door, and running the doorbell over and over. I began to make out a faded image of my best friend, the one I really needed at the moment.

Just as soon as he let me in, my legs grew weak, my knees buckled, my brain carelessly forgot to send messages to walk, but it was overrun by emotional unbalance. I dropped down on my knees and combed my fingers through the beige carpet.

Lonny settled down beside me and caressed my face, trying out towers him, he spoke looking straight into my eyes, "What happened?!" With all the depth in his tone, I still trembled back to the voice of my "fiance."

  "He-he...." My throat became dry as if loads of cinnamon powder was stuffed down it. I gulped trying to sooth the dryness and the struggle of speech.

Lonny looked at me with much worry, "He what?"

   "He....he..." I stuttered. As soon as I opened my mouth for more words, my phone rang from a text message from my supposed fiance.

It read, "I'm in love with someone else."

I thought to myself, "It's a bad religion to be in love with someone who could never love you."

More tears welled in my eyes, "He... never loved me."

10 days 'til Christmas. . .

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~Déjà