Have you ever had that moment where you just give up? You just lay in bed and think, cause that's all you can do? The feeling that you'll never be good enough for that special someone no matter what they say. Like.. you have no control? Like something, or someone, is driving for you? The only thing you can control is something they could never think you would ever do? Like, you just need something to hold onto but you can never find it? All you think about is just giving up, that giving up and letting go is the only option? Cause that's how I feel at this exact moment.
~
Alicia's POV
Soaring pain. Indescribable pain. I couldn't take it, I just couldn't. I deserve no one! He was right. They were all right
"Alicia? Alicia?"
No one cares
"Alicia is that you?"
Blurry. My vision was fuzzy. I lied on the ground with blood all around. I couldn't remember what had happened. A fight? Maybe. Was it something in the drink or was it in the drugs? Because if I was sober I would have fought back. But I didn't , I let them beat me. Numb. I feel numb and I can't breath, I can't move. I don't deserve this baby, I don't and never did.
It's truely amazing what a bunch of bracelets and a smile can hide. Not even Ryleigh or Marco know. No one knows. They think I'm so happy, they think I'm perfect. Like I have no guilt or regrets. I never talked to Ricky about this, cause how could I? How do you describe how you were raped? How do you describe how your abusive father was thrown in jail after beating your mom? How do I describe that I don't want to live.. or breath? How can you describe to someone the names people called you? How can you possibly describe to someone you hated your self so much you took a blade to your wrist and cut into your own flesh? Does anyone truely understand how much self hate it takes to do that?
No one understands me. No one truely does. Thats why I didn't fight back. I don't deserve Ricky, not after cheating on him. I don't deserve this baby, not after hurting it with drugs and alcohol. I don't deserve Ryleigh or Marco. I never have.
"Alicia, oh my god!" Someone helped me up. Someone I recognize, but my vision was failing me. I blacked out again.
-
It's all in the details. The way someone stops smiling the moment you aren't looking. How their answers become shorter, their laugh a little bit more forced for every time. You'll sometimes catch them staring into the nothingness that surrounds them. Completely gone. Lost. Alone. You might find they start distancing themselves from you, making excuses. Feeding you with their little covering lies. "I'm just tired," they'll say. They'll laugh it off, every single time. You should pay attention to how they start covering up their bodies, hiding every inch of their skin, hating every inch of their skin. They won't take your compliments, if so, you'll only get a simple 'thank you' and they take it all for lies. Self hate could be easily mistaken for self irony - although they say it with a smile on their face, keep your eyes open for the empty look that follows. Pay attention. Never look away. Because they are nearly impossible to spot, unless you're one of them. -Anonymous
~Ryleigh's POV~
"I love you. So much." Jc says to me, hugging me
"Don't say that!" I whisper..
"Why Ryleigh?" He looked geniunely concerned
"Because in the end everyone leaves," I yell "Everybody gives up." I whisper.
"I'm not going to leave I won't give up, just please Ryleigh give me a chance."
He tilts my head up to where I'm looking at him. "I. Love. You." He says, looking straight into my eyes. I couldn't help but melt, god why did I have to fall for him?
"I love you more." I snap at him, smirking.
It's funny how I went from yelling and crying to smirking. God I'm such a girl. Jc pulled me into another kiss, of course it was ruined by a phone call.
"Hello? Is this Ryleigh?" A panicked male voice rushes.
"Umm yeah who is this?"
"Alicia is at monroe hospital! Hurry!" Click. The phone went dead.
Dammit Alicia, what'd you do now?
-
Urm so yeah I'm not exactly sure what you do at Vidcon soo if anyone could help me out on that, much appreciated! Next chapter shall be all VidCon! Okay and a lot of Alicia as well. Soo, Jc and Ryleigh are back together! Thoughts on that? I need a fan name for you guys.. how about Unicorns? XD or.. Haleynators. PIZZA! I'm a little hungry v.v anywaaaayz. BYEE :P
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Little Miss Skater Girl*O2L Fan-Fic*
FanfictionI never thought that I would meet them, much less fall in love with one. I never even stopped to think to myself, that one day, I would be walking the streets and see them. You could call it luck, But I call it fate.
