It's a Funny Story

Dear Johnny

Dear Johnny,

I know WHO you are, and I KNOW where you live. You little sh*t!
You can't talk to SANTA like that and get away with it!

If you don't like the yo-yo, which is a classic toy, by the way,
then you can just cram it up your little *$$! As for the whistle
you didn't care for -- I gotcha whistle right here!!! Come blow
on this! And the socks...well, I figured you are big enough to
be whacking off, and those sox would have come in handy and been
handy to ... well, even you should get the picture!

And... that little "frog" across the street, you'll be happy to
know that he's already got pubic hair and his whang is TWICE as
long as yours. Besides, his parents think YOU're the fag --always
moanin' and whinin'.

Don't worry about gathering up rocks for my visit to your house
next year, 'cause I ain't coming down your chimbly ever again.
If you find any pennies this year, you had better stop and pick
them up, 'cause that's about all you're going to get for Christmas.
Your mom and dad are doing to be killed in a car crash, and you'll
be stuck in an orphanage before Thanksgiving.

Bad? You want BAD? I'll show you who's bad!

Affectionally, Adieu,

Santa

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SANTA'S RESPONSE TO LITTLE JOHNNY'S AFTER CHRISTMAS LETTER
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Merry Christmas
Guys