Attention || Lashton

Chapter 4

September 7, 2015:

It was Monday and I was sitting in math class again, doing my fairly similar routine and counting down the time until class ended. If the class was simply calculating exactly how much time of class we had left in a relay race, I would win.

Over the weekend I made a couple more cuts, and I can't say I enjoy the feeling. It still kind of sucks and I was hoping at a time it would get better. I don't want to become addicted, but truthfully I don't have an addictive personality. We took a test online in health, which I guess was sort of an accomplishment.

I turn to Luke as the teacher steps away from the board one minute and fourteen seconds left until the bell rings. I notice the multiple scratch marks on his desk, probably made from pencils and other sharp objects people bring to the school. "So Luke," I begin, feeling my nerves building up. My wrist was itching and I couldn't help but to involuntarily rub my covered wrist against my ripped jeans. He turns to me and I feel my heart drop into my stomach with nerves. He doesn't say anything but when I don't he raises both his eyebrows as a signal to speak. "Oh! Um, do you want to hang out after school? You know, with me?" I ask nervously.

He smirks and turns to his friends, probably asking their permission or something. My hopes went down when he did this and I feared he was going to turn me down and insult me. I just want Luke to notice me without my own self-destruction. He turns back around with a malicious smile on his face and it got me curious. "Ashton, of course I will. You seem.. okay." He tells me and then the bell sounds. My heart beats quickly and I swear that I could hear each thump against my chest.

"Really?" I ask him and he nods as we exit the classroom. My appetite was lost because I needed to think of things to do with him after school. I don't have my expectations at a high bar, but I did have them to the point he may call it a date. I go to sit in the library in the arm chair nearest the window. I look outside and see all the people going to their various destinations, whether it be their next class or lunch.

After a while of inner debate about what to do after school with Luke I decide that we should be the sappy couple. I could make some food, or order some. We could watch movies or television shows, whatever he preferred. I would pull out a bunch of games and we could just have a few hours without any expectations. But I then realized I didn't tell him where to meet me for our after-school date. Which he didn't know was a date.

I grab my things and run out of the library despite the angry tone from the librarian. I go down the carpeted halls and dented lockers and rush down the odd smelling stairwell towards the cafeteria. I rush into the cafeteria and heads to the far table where Luke and his 'group' sit. I see an empty space across the table and that is where I go. I sit down and everybody looks at me. "Great." Michael mumbles sarcastically, which it sucked being in hearing distance of him.

I frowned at his pessimism and I quickly say to Luke, "Meet me at the front parking lot, the dirt one. After school and all, we're walking." He doesn't have time to deny me, or he might have I just refused to hear it. A couple people laugh at me but I walked it off. I was going to have a date with the most attractive guy in school (by my standards). 

--

After my last class I run as fast as I could to the front parking lot so he would know exactly where to go and just so he couldn't really ditch me very well. I see him walking across the half dead grass of the school's front lawn. He seems to be a bit slow so I examine my surroundings. The cloudy sky, the waving of the Australian flag on the flag pole. It colours contrasted nicely with the grey of the sky. I see the broken window of Mr. Herman's room, which I remember clearly. A couple boys last year came to school drunk and their bright idea as a solution to be kicked out for the day was to retaliate against the school. They grabbed a nicely sized rock and threw it up at the window directly above, which happened to be Mr. Herman's room. In my opinion he was an amazing teacher, real nice too. He was my science teacher year 9. He taught me a lot.