Attention || Lashton

Chapter 3

September 4, 2015:

I sit in my English class again, my bracelets aggravating the small puffy cuts. Rubber is uncomfortable on wounds, even small. I can't show Luke yet, I can't just have fresh cuts. He'll suspect something.

So I have planned this out.

I need to allow some of them to heal and then he could look at my arm one days and see scars and fresh cuts. It would extremely more believable that way. But I am not going to show him outright. I will try talking to him and make sure my bracelets are parted enough for cuts to show. If he doesn't notice right away, it's okay.

He walks in a sits next to me, again. Maybe he likes me? Maybe I don't even have to cut myself.

"Hey Luke." I greet him and he just looks at me and snorts, then laughs. My heart drops and I look away from him. He is a dick sometimes, but he is attractive so it's okay.

"You didn't have to lie about your parents, by the way. Nobody gives a shit." Luke tells me quietly. 

I shrug and respond, "People don't like me much.. I just.. I wish some people would and I thought lying about having money would do that." I look at him and I try forcing my eyes to water. He frowns at me but the teacher begins to talk and he doesn't say anything to it. 

I got him to feel bad for me.

I think I did at the very least.

I don't pay much attention to the teacher because Luke was distracting me.

I felt like I was slightly obsessed but then I remember that it is love, what Luke and I have. Or what we will have. Sometimes a person just needs to grasp the other's attention, and that is what I was planning on doing. Cutting may seem like an inefficient way to do it, but I am clueless of any other way.

I almost observe him, how he leans back in his chair, how he toyed with his lip ring whenever the teacher asked a question. I think he was scared to be chosen to answer it. How whenever his "friend" Gavin would talk to him then he would say something back but then look away and roll his eyes.

I didn't know I was doing it this long, but eventually the bell rings. I immediately get up, going to lunch. I like only having a few blocks in a day because after second block, year 11 and year 12 students get lunch. Just one of the perks.

I follow Luke down to the cafeteria and where he places his bag, I place mine next to his. He looks at me with a confused expression but almost shrugs it off. He doesn't speak to me though. He pulls out his lunch and I go into the lunch line.

After getting my food I go back, and I was quite quick about it.

Hardly anybody had sat down yet as I place my flimsy white tray at my seat. Next to Luke. "So, um hey." I smile at him and he doesn't respond, just looks at me blankly.

"Why don't you like me?" I whine, regretting it right after. It wasn't completely intended.

But then he says something I didn't expect: "I just don't like attention whores." After that, he gets up and moves away from me. My heart drops and I look down, blinking back the tears. I need to pick up this game.