The Mender

Ruminating

After the visit to the Reference Library, Esri began stopping by Clea's once or twice during the week to see if she needed anything. Clea told her to not bother knocking, to just come in and find her. And yes, she was perfectly safe.

During the week, Esri couldn't linger for long, and for the next several Saturdays she always had to bring Jilly to Clea's. There were no opportunities for extended conversations about Menders and Disruptors, and even if there had been, Clea wasn't herself. She hardly spoke. She was distracted and looked tired.

When they did have brief opportunities to speak, Clea only wanted details of what was happening in the dreams. How were the people at Flat Rocks treating each other? Were any bad things happening? Esri assured her that though the living was still hard, food scarce, and it remained cold, there was laughter and singing, and excitement and joy about Wilki's baby. And Piram was still a jerk but he was leaving Wilki alone.

Esri felt both better and worse about the dreams. It was a relief to be able to share everything that was going on at Flat Rocks with someone. She was consumed with reading as much as she could find about the Stone Age times of the Huti stone, and became increasingly convinced that it was the Toba volcano eruption that caused the Ash Rain and persistent cold from the Always Cloud.

What Clea told her about the Menders and Disruptors helped make sense out of the intensity and persistence of the dreams and the odd smells and the Tall Man. But - and this was a huge but, what if Clea was completely batty? Maybe she regularly lured unsuspecting children into her sphere and made-up a bunch of weird stories. It was all so far-fetched. Was Clea dangerous? Maybe Esri should walk away and find someone else to run errands for Clea. Wouldn't that be the wise thing to do?

And yet, and yet, what if it were all true? What if she, Esri, was a Mender and there was something really important she needed to do? What harm was there in at least playing along for a while? And she couldn't bear thinking about not visiting Clea. Clea made Esri feel good about herself, something she hadn't felt in a long time. Clea was a kind, gentle, and wise sounding board for everything that was going on with Esri and not only the dreams. Her Dad was wonderful but he was gone so much and had enough worries of his own.