The Mender

Choosing Mates

Nagar waited until the Elders Council met a few times and found agreement on several issues before bringing up how family units would be formed.

"Before the Ash Rain, our young people would look to the trading groups for mates or they would find someone in Flat Rocks who was not of their family. If the union was with someone in a trading group, we would seek two unions. One of our young people would go to the trading group and someone from the trading group would come to Flat Rocks. If both people were at Flat Rocks, they came together to the Elders Council and declared that they wanted to be mates. As long as both wanted to be paired and the Elders saw that the two were not from the same family, they would approve the union. I propose we continue with this tradition."

"But things are different now," said Piram. "The trading groups are all gone and we are few. We need to form new families. You say this often, Nagar. I no longer have a mate. Yes, I am an Elder, but I am not yet an old man. I should have a woman who sleeps with me and stays with me. We have women who are not from Flat Rocks who do not have mates. It's not right."

Zura spoke, "Are you saying that you would pick one, and they would have to be with you?"

"You do not need to worry, Zura. You are too old and Esri is still too young. I can take Wilki, and she and her baby can be my family," Piram smirked.

Barsa said, "Have you spoken to Wilki? What does she say?"

"What does it matter what she says? She needs to be mated again, and it should be with me."

"What does Wilki say?" Barsa repeated. He did not like Piram's tone.

Zura put her hand on Barsa to calm him and said, "Let's ask her."

"She will not agree," Piram said. "But I have a right to have a mate."

Nagar said, "What we need to do is decide if in our bode both people have to agree to be mated, or can one person pick a mate and the other has no choice."

"And what if two people pick the same person to be their mate?" said Zura.

"The man who is oldest or maybe strongest gets to choose," said Piram.

Zura asked Piram, "If Tars wanted Wilki, you would go along with that? Or what if it was two women who both wanted the same man?"

Piram did not respond to Zura and she continued, "I believe both people have to agree on being mated. It is best. Let's hear from everyone on the Elders Council."

Everyone but Piram agreed with Zura. The Council continued to discuss the issue for some time as they did not want Piram to walk away angry and continue to harass Wilki. Even though she would not have to mate with him, this would not be a good outcome. They agreed, that soon after Wilki's baby came and Fenti-Dumu's naming, another scouting party would go out to try to find more people, which might produce a new choice of mate for Piram.

The more delicate matter was that, unless Piram became less stubborn and aggressive, it was likely that the same problem would arise again. No one had yet broached this.

Finally Saba said, "I want to say something. I hope it will be all right." She turned to Piram, "Piram, I have known you all my life. You are a good hunter and a strong man. Sometimes I am a little frightened of you because you get angry at the people around you. I think this makes people scared of you and try to stay away from you. I know I'm only a young woman who does not have years of wisdom. I want to tell you this because, maybe, if you could be less angry, it would be easier for someone to want to be your mate."

They waited to see Piram's reaction. He stared into the fire for some time and finally said, "You're right, Saba. You are only a young woman who has no experience with being a mate or a mother. But I will think about what you said."

They were quiet. Most doubted that Piram would change his ways. Yet it was unusual that he did not react with anger to Saba's words. Perhaps it was because the words came from Saba, who rarely spoke and never raised her voice in anger, or perhaps something of what she said managed to get through to him.

The next morning, Saba took Esri aside and told her about what happened at the Elders Council. "Esri, I was so scared when I spoke, but I thought about what you told me, that I needed to say what I was feeling. Thank you for helping me put the words together to speak."

Piram did not suddenly become a nice, gentle person, but he did stop bothering Wilki and talking about how she would be his mate after the baby came. With the entire Elders Council supporting Wilki, Piram restrained himself – for now - and did not risk being banished from Flat Rocks.