Chapter Five

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Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Academy, Richelle Mead does. 

RPOV:

As I walked in front of him, I was hyper-aware of him behind me. I knew somehow that he was closer than 10 feet, and the thought oddly excited me, instead of frightening me. Maybe there was hope for me after all, I thought optimistically. I walked through the gym doors, figuring that it was going to be a few seconds before he came in, so I decided to scare him.

I turned around to go back the way I came, to hide by the door. Something told me that I probably shouldn't do this, that it was going to end badly, but I was enough myself that it just made me more determined to prove that I wasn't some scared little girl.

What I didn't expect was for him to walk through the door just as I reach it, causing us to collide.

Everything happened in slow motion. It felt like I hit a brick wall, making me bounce back. His arms came around me, automatically it seems, keeping me from falling, and also pulling me towards him.

I froze, my brain stuttering as it tried to catch up with everything. But, once it did, I wished it had stayed far, far away.

Even though I knew, knew, in my higher reasoning that he wasn't going to hurt me, that he was just trying to save me, I could do nothing about my body's reaction. My mouth open in a blood curdling scream as I brought my up hands instinctively to fight off my attacker.

“Get away get away get away!!!” I screamed, my eyes closed. I felt like I was back there, defenseless, unable to fight him off. No! It wasn't going to happen again!

I didn't realize that I was saying no until I heard Dimitri's voice, all the way across the gym now, telling me it was okay. Well, more like shouting. As I registered this, I realized that I was curled into a ball on the floor.

I breathed heavily as I once again became aware of my surroundings. Slowly, I sat up, looking around, making sure nothing was going to hurt me. All of a sudden, I felt like a little girl, waking from a nightmare and wishing my daddy was here to keep me save. But now, just like then, my daddy wasn't here to save me. The only difference between now and then was that now I actually knew who my father was, another mistake that my mom had tried to fix when I almost died and she decided she wanted me after all.

I sighed, relaxing further. I swallowed as I started to shakily get up.

“No! Stay down,” Dimitri's voice made me flinch in surprise. I looked up at him, all the way across the gym. “You might hurt yourself or the baby,” he continued.

Something about the tone of his voice, or maybe it was the concern on his face, or maybe even the fact that he was all the way across the gym, giving me space, yet looking like he wanted to hold me in his arms, broke me.

I couldn't hold the tears, or sobs. It was like a dam broke. I could do nothing to stop it. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him hesitantly start forward, stopping when he was about 6 feet in front of me. He hesitated again, then slowly yet gracefully sat down cross legged. In the back of my hysterical mind, I was surprised that someone so tall could be so graceful. For reason unknown, this thought made me cry harder.

“Why?” I wailed. “Why do I have to be so weak? Why can't I be normal? Why – why – why can't I have a normal life?” I sobbed. “WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS??!?!?!?!” I screamed the last part so loudly that it hurt my throat.

The entire time, Dimitri just sat there and watch, a pained look on his face. He stayed like that while my wails gradually calmed down to soft sobs.

“You were raped, weren't you?” he asked quietly.

DPOV:

 I caught her to keep her from falling, but what I didn't expect was her reaction. As soon as she realized what happened, she freaked out. She started screaming and hitting me.

“Get away get away!” she screamed.

Automatically, I released her arms. She dropped to the floor and curled up into a ball to keep her self safe. I quickly moved away from her to the other side of the gym.

“No, no, no, no,” she kept murmuring.

“It's alright!” I called out, hoping that my voice would bring her back. “It's alright, you can get up, I’m nowhere near you! It's okay!”

She slowly sat up, looking around, for what, I wasn't exactly sure. All I wanted to do in that moment was gather her up in my arms and hold her tight, making sure nothing could hurt her. As she started to stand up, I could tell even from this distance that she was shaking so I told her to stay down so that she didn't hurt either of them. She sat back down, then looked at me. I didn't know what showed on my expression, probably my desire to help her because my emotionless mask, the one I worked so hard to keep, had shattered the moment she did. Whatever she saw made her break down in tears and sobs. I knew that her being so upset was horrible for the baby, but I didn't know how to help her. Hesitantly, I walked closer to her, letting her know by my body language that she could tell me to stop at any moment. When she didn't, I kept going until I was about 6 feet away again. I hesitated again. I wanted to get closer, but still wanted her to be comfortable, so I just sat down cross legged and watch her sob her heart out helplessly.

“Why?” she suddenly wailed. “Why do I have to be so weak? Why can't I be normal? Why – why – why can't I have a normal life?” she sobbed.

“WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS??!?!?!?!” She screamed this so loudly that her voice hurt my ears.

As I listened to her, pieces started to come slowly together in my head. How uncomfortable she was around men, her reaction and words when I touched her, her screaming now, and lastly, the simple fact that she was pregnant.

She was raped.

All of a sudden, all I wanted to do was find the bastard who did this to her and tear him apart – limb – from – limb.

But all I could do is watch her break down with a painful expression on my face.

Finally, her sobs and cries quieted down to just soft tears.

 I knew now probably wasn't the best time, but I needed to know. “You were raped, weren't you?” I asked her, looking into her beautiful brown eyes. 

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