So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
-Happy by Leona Lewis
Mia Lovenburg
My fingers ran across the carpet while Charlie lay beside me, his soft blonde hair tickling my arm.
"Wait, so you guys.....kissed?"Kat laughed while holding her stomach. I rolled my brown eyes, twirling a piece of my hair around my index finger. My teeth gritting my bottom lip. A swirling of bubbles were in my stomach, while a crimson red blotched itself on my cheeks.
"It was just a quick one."I whispered the memories flashing back. The moments I didn't want to erase from my head. I heard a long sigh erupt from Katherine's pink lips while I snapped my head slowly towards in confusion.
"Mia, it's all just his stupid challenge. He's being all mushy gushy to try to win you back and then break you down all over again. You have to stand your ground." Kat pointed out flipping her hair behind her. My smile was now formed into a frown, my hands now on my thighs. It soon caught Charlie's ears, while he perked up, sitting up.
"A-Are you serious?" My voice cracked in between. I stood up, picking Charlie by the waist, balancing him on my hip. Kat nodded slowly picking at her nails. The doorbell rung throughout my ears, while I put Charlie back down on the carpet, walking forward to the door. My fingers were trembling my hand gripping onto the handle. I opened up the door, my heart dropping to my stomach.
"Can we talk....in private?" Liam's deep voice made the goosebumps on my skin rise up. I nodded slowly, not trusting my voice at the moment. I closed the door behind me slowly, turning my head to look at him. His mocha brown eyes melted into me, my breath getting caught inside of me, my body shaking.
"About last night....." I muttered slowly, closing my eyes in frustration. I fiddled with my thumbs together, my heart knocking on my chest.
"You regret it don't you? I knew it. I fucking knew it."Liam spat angrily pushing himself away from me. My chest was soaked in hurt, while my hand touched his shoulder. I pulled him close to my face, his hot breath fanning over my lips once again.
"You think I regret something as perfect as that."I whispered our lips brushing each other. His eyelids closed slowly his hands circling around my waist. Our lips finally meeting each other. I smiled into the kiss, his eye lashes brushing the outside of my cheeks. Causing the hairs on my back to stand up.
"Are we done yet? I just want you to be all mine."Liam spoke about, as we both pulled away.
"I don't think you've convinced me enough Payne. We've only been through two things so far." I answered. Nudging my elbow into his arm. A loud erupt groan fell from his lips, while his fingers entwined with mine.
"What I think.....is that we made a really handsome kid."He smiled back while pushing my hair out of my face. I giggled silently pushing him away, while he laughed along. Our feet padded against the ground in rhythm, while our hands swung back and forth on our mini walk.
"Well I got just the thing, to make you change your mind."He whispered gently in my ear, while an eye roll took place.
"Charlie is home with Kat, I can't leave them there."I muttered with a gloomy tone. I felt fingers slip into my pocket, Liam's hands taking my phone with him. My mind went through a thought process of what Katherine was telling me earlier. "Stand your ground." How could I just stand my ground when I'm completely head over heels? I can't just ignore all the romantic gestures, or the times he is an actual gentleman. But then I think of all the painful memories. When he actually wasn't there.
Where I had to handle my own child all on my own. Or where I realized he practically broke me in half and stomped all over me like I was a piece of garbage.
Liam handed back my phone with a smile, when I realized he sent a message towards Kat. I sprouted a fake smile upon my lips. While he entwined his fingers again. Felt like it was burning holes into my skin, that's what.
"Have you ever felt broken?" I muttered quickly. My eyes bulged out, once they trailed down to the cement sidewalk built in.
"Well of course, everyone has. Why are you asking?" Liam's tone of voice seemed worried like guilt was planted inside his body.
"It's just.....you really broke me Liam. You hurt me, badly." I whispered swallowing down the attempts of tears wanting to build right back up.
"Can we not talk about this, please?" Liam begged with sorrow his hand clenching my hand into his. I tensed underneath him, nudging, and slipping my hand right out. Stopping my walk for a moment. Liam stopped as well, looking at me with raised eyebrows.
"Liam, you can't just walk back into my life pretending we would fall in love all over again. How do you know it isn't just an act? To make me seem like the coward, and make me feel broken all over again. I can't take those risks anymore. What you did tore me into a million pieces. And doing this, is just a complete waste. It's like your wasting your time, running yourself back and forth to try and fix things with me. Maybe it was the past, maybe I can forgive, but I surely cannot forget. They are permanently marked into my brain." I spoke up, my mouth dry and bitter. Liam was speechless, his eyes making dents into me.
"So you just want me to give up? Give up on something that I really want and that I really love. It's like giving up on One Direction. I just can't do it. I don't want to do it." Tears were pricking at the ends of his eyes. The tears wetting his cheeks and now rolling down them.
"Liam, we tried it once, we can't go at it again. If it wasn't meant to be, then heck with it, it wasn't meant to be. Leave it the way it was." I answered back. Now, the guilt was surely eating me alive. Making me feel worthless then I already am.
"I don't care Mia, stop ignoring it, you know I love you-"
"Liam I said to forget it. When I say forget it. We forget it." I whispered my fingers curling up in worry. Another word, and I was going to vanish out of his eyesight like no tomorrow.
"A-Alright"
And that was the end. It was done.
Pshh, yeah right. This was just the beginning.
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