Chapter 30

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(A/N) Hello darlings! Thank you so much for the votes and comments on the last chapter (: I'm glad you guys liked it! It makes me sad to know that this is ending in like...5 chapters :( I hope you'll stick around for the "prequel" story then for Dancing Styles. I haven't started it yet, but I'm hoping to get a little teaser chapter up for you guys soon.

Finally out of school wooo! :D I'm a senior guysss (: So now, I have nothing else to do with my time than lay out at the pool and write chapters for you guys (; (and what better way is there to spend a summer than that?! Oh yeah. Working. oops -_-) 

But I should be able to be posting more frequently now that I'm free, so I hope you'll be happy to continue reading! :D 

If you haven't already, please take a few spare moments to check out some of my other works? It would truly mean a lot.

My Night With Harry Styles

Fat

Sign for Love

On the Line for You

Fairytale Ending

Two of them aren't Fan Fictions, but I hope you'll be willing to check them out anyway :x

I hope you enjoy this chapter, comment and vote and let me know what you think?

Love you nuggets xxxx

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~*Lucy's POV*~

Bella came home a little after Louis' and my "moment", if you could even really call it that. Was that what it was? It seemed more friendly to me than anything.

Thank god for Lou sometimes.

Originally, when we had been getting on the plane to come over here, I had planned on going to Nolan's grave, bringing flowers, and visiting. But now, I just didn't think that I could do it. I couldn't bring myself to go over there.

I felt like such a bad mother. When he first died, I pushed all my emotions down inside me, and fought to keep them there. And they stayed there. I just, acted like I didn't care. Like it had no effect on me. There was so much going on around me, that I couldn't afford to let this loss hurt me, like everything else. I realize now how much of a mistake that was.

I wasn't even really holding in the hurt. I was just going about it in different ways. I didn't cry over the loss, I stopped eating because of it. I didn't tell Harry how much it hurt to lose my child, I bullied my remaining child instead.

I was an awful person.

It should have been me who died in that accident instead of Nolan. He was young, and innocent, and hadn't had a chance to experience life.

At that point in my life, I had messed it up so much that it really didn't feel like I had a chance at doing anything right anymore.

Louis opted to take Bella out for dinner, giving me the space that I knew he knew I needed for the night. Tomorrow afternoon we would be flying home, and I could not have been more happy about that. I just needed to get out of this damn city. I needed to be home.

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