Real or not real? (everlark)

9

The screen glows faintly, and I stare at the single word. I whisper it aloud.
"Positive."I say, and sink to the floor, clutching the small test in my sweaty palms. I put my face in my hands. I've never wanted children, I've made that apparent to myself. I sigh deeply. I don't know what to do anymore. I can hardly accept the truth myself, so I don't feel like I'm up for telling Peeta now. I will. Just not yet. It's a good thing that he left for work, so he won't have to see me during my panic attack.
Then, I hear the door slam. And the shuffling of feet downstairs. I snap my head up, and it feels like my insides have frozen. My mind races to conclusions at to who could be in my house. Robber? Kidnapper? Murderer? The feet start to clomp up the stairs, the steps getting louder, and louder. It sounds like a pair of heavy work boots, and I slowly get to my feet on the tile floor. I tiptoe over to the door and lock it, just as the owner of the footsteps comes onto the landing. He walks down the hall, and I mentally facepalm. He can see the light flooding from underneath the bathroom door. I tense up, waiting for something bad to happen. But instead, a familiar, soft voice talks through the door.
"Katniss? Honey is that you in there?" Peeta asks, and I feel a crash of releif and panic rush over me. Yes it isn't a murderer in my house, but Peeta is home, and I'm still clutching the test in my hands!!
"Uh... um yeah, yeah. Um... I'm just going to the bathroom- I'll be out in a sec." I stutter. I don't want him to know, not yet. I'm not ready to tell him. I shove the test back into the box and practically throw it back onto the shelf. I flush the toilet and turn the faucet on, bending over the sink. I wash my face and take a deep, calming breath. Then I unlock the bathroom door and walk out to see Peeta sitting on our bed, unlacing his shoes.
"I decided I would stay home with you. Tom said that he could run it anyways." Peeta says and I smile, sitting down beside him and giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. Tom was Peeta's assistant baker, and was very nice. He was a younger boy with red hair and an explosion of freckles under his green eyes. I'm nervous that Peeta knows what happened. My hands still shake, but if he notices, he doesn't say anything.
"Im gonna go use the bathroom." He says and gets up. Right before the door shuts, I hear something drop to the floor.
"Looks like something fell from the medicine cabinet." Peeta says, picking the box up. I freeze as he reads it. He slowly walks back into the bedroom.
"Pregnancy test." He says. He stops and looks at me. "Did you buy this?" He asks, his eyes cutting into mine.
"Yes, I did. But I only bought it because I wasn't feeling good, and I talked with Haymitch trying to blame it all on his liquor. But then he got me thinking other things..." I say, and Peeta nods his head in understanding.
"Well?"
"Well what?" I ask, looking up at him from the fabric of my sweatpants. My fiddling fingers stop moving for a moment.
"What was the results?" Peeta asks me. But then he notices my expression and he sits next to me taking my hand. "Im sorry. That might have sounded rude, I'm just excited. You knew I wanted a kid." He says, and I sigh.
"It was positive." I say, cracking a small smile.
"YES!!" Peeta fist pumps the air. He jumps up from the bed and does a little dance. He looks down at me. "Come on Kat. I know you're excited to have a kid. Dont even try it." He pulls me to my feet and turns music on, blaring it from our small old stereo.
He starts dancing like a maniac. Maybe it was an attempt to cheer me up, maybe not, but it worked. We danced and sang and rapped to all of the songs, and when the album was over, we fell back, sweaty, onto the bed. Chest heaving, I thought about how happy he made me.
"So," Peeta asks me after a while." What are we going to do today?"
"Actually, I was thinking about going down to visit Beatrice. And then I needed to call Gale. You can come too, if you want." I say, and he nods. I get up and go take my usual shower, and when I come out, I put my hair in its usual braid. I pull on a warm sweater and jeans, and then black boots. Peeta stands ready by the door.
The brisk autumn air is like a slap in the face when we walk outside. The icy breeze chills my spine as I walk down the hard packed dirt road to Beatrice's house. Peeta walks beside me, and when we reach the more town like area, we are greeted by many of our old friends.
"Where's your car Everdeen?" Greasy Sae hollers at me from out her shop window. "Its mighty cold out to be walking."
"Its a short walk, I figured I wouldn't need it. That' car is for long distance and shopping only." I say and she laughs, shaking her head. She leans out the window and whispers something to Peeta as we leave.
"What did she say to you?" I ask him, as we near my old house. He smiles and his cheeks go pink.
"She said that she's glad we found each other. She was afraid that..." Then he trails off for a moment, not finishing his sentence. My curiosity stabs.
"She was afraid what?"
"That she had lost you forever." Peeta says. I sigh. "Hey. Katniss you can't blame her. I was too. We were all afraid that you were gone."
"Why would you be afraid? You knew that I loved you." I say to him.
"No, I didnt. I was afraid that you never would after what had happened with the whole hijacking thing. Afraid that after all the hijacked me had done, you wouldn't love me anymore." He says, and true hurt registers in his voice. A surge of sadness rushes through me as I think back to then, when I had been ignoring him. I had no idea that this is what he'd been going through. I knock on the wooden door of my house, waiting for Beatrice to answer it.
"I will love you forever, Peeta. Always." I say. He opens his mouth to respond, but then the door opens, revealing a happy Beatrice. He closes his mouth, leaving me to forever wonder what words may have flown out of it.
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After an hour of chatting with Beatrice, I excuse myself to go to the bathroom. But just before I enter, I hear a new conversation start up, and it's about me.
"You know Peeta," Beatrice says. "You mean a very great deal to Katniss."
"She means a very great deal to me as well." Peeta says and I smile from my hiding place, pleased.
"Good. That's a good one you've snatched, Mr. Mellark." I can hear satisfaction ringing through her voice. "The two of you gave Panel hope, and then, you managed to save us! I don't know how may couples would have been able to survive what the two of you have, but I'm very, very proud to say that you did."
"Katniss is the most amazing person I've ever met. I wish she could just see herself the way other people do. Then maybe she could understand." Peeta responds.
"Are you going to marry her anytime soon?"
"Not in the immediate future, I don't think. We have something else rather big that Katniss has to deal with right now, and I know she wouldn't want to be pressed with something else like this." I smile happily to myself at his answer. I was afraid that he would purpose, and then I'd have a mental breakdown right before the wedding or something. I only wish I had done it in order, instead of having the baby first.
I decide that now is a good time to exit from my hiding place. I get up, and act as if I hadn't heard a word they said and had indeed been in the bathroom. Peeta smiles at me and pats the part of the couch next to him, and I rest my head on him. Playing their conversation over and over in my head, I sit, twisting and turning it into to anything that I like. The sound emitting from the television goes unnoticed by me, but when Beatrice gasps at something that has happened, I assume I'm the only one tuned out.
The day passes pretty uneventful, but the day spent with Beatrice was a day we'll spent.

Hey guys! Sorry if this is crappy, I wrote it while I was really tired. But anyways, please vote and comment any feedback that you have. Thanks!
-Skyzone