The Sex Tape [One Direction]

Chapter 10. Lucky to Have Known You

STATUS: EDITED

It had been two days since I last saw Niall, because I couldn't dare face him after Harry's proposal. I knew as soon as I looked into his eyes I'd break and run away, because I couldn't face shattering his heart again. Two days seemed like a lifetime. The thoughts that had been running through my mind offered me one of two choices.

Option 1, the honest one

Run away and let Niall forget about me again. At least that way he wouldn't be hurt again.

Or

Option 2, the less hurtful one

Commit to Harry's demands and pretend to live a happy fairytale life with the boy I've always been in love with.

The choices were taunting me. Each had their drawbacks, each had their upsides. Today would be the day when I would call Harry and tell him my decision, but first I needed to check with someone. Someone I had always gotten good advice from and looked up to, someone who was always right, who knew best and gave me guidance when I needed it the most.

As I looked at myself in the mirror, the image in front of me looked defeated, beaten, and broken down to the point of no return, but somehow I had gotten through it all. I smiled at the reflection before my eyes, content and pleased with how far I had actually come in life. I had blossomed from a little seedling to a beautiful flower. As I turned away, a cloud of gloom reappeared. I knew where I was headed, but it would only help me in the long way.

As my feet tapped across the floor, each step seemed to make the butterflies in my stomach increase and my heartbeat quicken. The door frame was now in reach but my body was screaming at me to just turn around and think of another way to make sure I had made the right decision. Where I was going would bring up haunting memories of the past.

The doorknob was shouting at me to STOP and go back, but I went against its will and trotted to my car. The scenery zoomed by. Everything began to slow as the black polished gates of death began to peer out of the entranceway.

My car slowly inched up towards the parking lot. My eyes started to form tears, because though I thought it had been long enough, clearly I was mistaken. I turned the keys in the ignition and as an effect my car went dead. The steering wheel was clamped in my hand as I looked out into the hills, each having their own different lengths and sizes. I drew in a giant breath before opening the door and walking out.

I hadn't been here in such a long time. It was overdue that I visited. Each step echoed against the pavement as the crows chirped along with my clicking feet. A familiar tree came into view and I knew I was in the right place. My black heels sunk into the grass, as there was no path for where I was heading.

There, in the middle of a vacant field, was a single grave. One that caused much turmoil and hatred toward myself, for I should be the one embedded into the earth.

Flashback

"So sweetheart, it's almost your birthday. Is there anything special you wanted?"

My mom was sitting in the driver's seat since soccer practice had just ended. A smile grew on my face as thoughts danced along in my mind.

"No, not really, but I'll think about it and get back to you, 'kay, mommy?"

The words came out carved with sweetness and happiness that I would almost be 11. Maybe not the most memorable birthday, but for the first time in years I would have my whole family together.

"That's fine baby, I love-"

She never finished her sentence because our car had compacted into a drunk driver's SUV. Both our bodies were suspended into the air as the car danced along the highway. I was conscious for the whole ride. I watched as my mom's body was just a toy to gravity's hold. My seat belt had held me into place as the car hit the side of a ledge.

The window had busted open and I miraculously pulled myself out, and a stranger helped me pull out my mom. It wouldn't matter, for in medical terms she was 'dead on scene.'

Her body laying there on the pavement would be a constant reminder of how lucky I was to only have a few scrapes across my face. When I'm feeling down about myself, I always wish for my mom's fate, to be surrounded in total blackness without a care in the world. Sometimes that's a lot better than reality.

"Sweetheart, your father's on his way."

A man who was decorated in many metals placed a hand on my shoulder and led me to a police car, where I could wait as the time ticked by. Each second marked how long it had been since I lost my mother.

"Wait, I need to tell her one last thing!"

I didn't care if he would protest my request. If he did, I wasn't listening. I just sprinted towards the ambulance where my mom was sealed in a body bag. I grabbed the zipper and pulled it down so I could look at her face when I told her this.

"Mom. You asked me what I wanted for my birthday, and I know what I want now."

Tears were now falling recklessly as people who were trying to stop me quieted themselves.

"Mom, all I want for my birthday is you!"

_________________________________________

As I stood at the grave of our old summer home that was now just filled with old memories and dust, I remembered the woman who I only knew for a very short period of time.

In just a fragment of that time she managed to have teach me so much. She taught me so many important life lessons that I still need and use today. I thought today would be filled with remorse and anger, but the feelings bubbling inside of me were happy. I had the privilege to be able to call such a wondrous woman my mother, and for that I can be happy.

"Mom I miss you so much, I needed to clear my head. That's why I'm here."

As I sat down next to her grave I felt a warmth surround me and I knew I wasn't alone anymore. Something about this warmth was telling me to talk because they were listening.

"Well Mom, there's this guy. He makes me so happy, just like you and Daddy did. Everything about him brings a smile to my face, but there's a bit of a problem. I might have ruined my chances with him by doing something really wrong and it's been eating away at me. This awful thing I did is causing my relationship to be contaminated with lies and secrets. He's worth it. I thought no one knew about my secret, but it turns out one of his close friends does. He wants me to help him out with 'stuff' but I don't know if I can because it could hurt both me and Niall."

Somehow when I was talking, I felt like the ten year old girl that had been in the car with her mother just before the crash altered her life for eternity. Just as the last word came out, I knew exactly what to do. Once again, my mom had given me guidance and direction when I needed it most.

I plucked my phone out of my pocket and dialed the number Harry had plugged into my phone, and waited for his musky tone to ring through my ears. The phone clicked, signaling someone had picked up the phone. My heart thumped a few extra times before I drew in another deep breath.

"Harry, I think-"

{A/N}

Hi guys! I got on this morning and saw this story had 20,000 reads and I seriously refreshed the page 56567890 times because that is AMAZING but anyway I love you all! I know I left you with another cliff hanger but this chapter gives Nina's character more depth and you can begin to understand why she is the way she is.

Question of the Day

If you could be hang out with the boys for one day what would you want to do? ;)

I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH! UPDATE AGAIN SOON!

DEDICATION TO A COMMENTER

-Samm

xoxoxoxoxoxo