Brandon's Story #Wattys2016

Choice

     It's been a few days and Brandon hasn't said a word to me. I see the judge for the last time tomorrow and I am so confused. I think I might have hurt him so bad this time that he will never forgive me. As I'm lying here in my bed pondering the choices I have made up until this point, I realize it may not have been worth it. I mean I love Steph and Lena so much and I want a family so bad, but what if I have it all wrong. How could I continue to sacrifice one happiness for another? Love is love with or without documentation. A tear rolls down my cheek and I quickly wipe it aside. Life has been so complicated and I have hurt so many people, I don't want to hurt anyone else. My mind quickly flashes to Jude, he would be so disappointed in me and what about Mariana who loves having me as a sister. Even Jesus would be affected. I breath in worry and exhale the grief I am feeling at that moment. How could I tell Moms that I changed my mind and more importantly why? The tears come more rapidly now as I envision the heartbreak in their eyes if I go through with it. Brandon is right, all this time he has been the consolation, but he is so much more. He doesn't know that even though I publicly chose this family, I chose him in my heart. What if he is right and I am giving up something that I will never find again. He so sure that we are each others one true love and that what we have only comes around once in a life time. I'm getting even more upset now to the point of shaking; I have to get out of here. I glance up at the clock and its half past six. I decide that I need some fresh air and time to clear my head. I rush out of my room and down the stairs, past the kitchen before anyone can stop me or ask any question. I look visibly upset with tears smudging my mascara and I don't want to alert anyone of whats going on. I start heading down the sidewalk and three buses later without realizing my purpose I am standing at my dads front door. I hesitate before ringing the bell and before I get the chance to retreat, the door creeps open.

"Callie! Is everything alright?" Dad ask, concerned.

Blinking a few tears away I say "Dad I don't know what to do, Im so confused."

"Whats wrong?" he says as he ushers me inside where he engulfs me in a fathers love.

"Im so scared to say it out loud and it will ruin everything." I reply with a lump in my throat.

"Callie, I love you, and nothing you ever say or do will ever change that. You can tell me anything."

With a crack in my voice I muster up the courage and say "I can't have both."

"Both what." He replies.

"A family and Brandon." I say with a long pause.

"Callie, Are you saying that you and Brandon are together."

"No...Yes...I don't know, but recently we did become more connected, than ever." I say without divulging, to my dad that I had sex for the first time.

"Is it serious?" He ask with a look of concern.

"Yes! I say without hesitation.

"All I can tell you Callie is that whatever happens this family will always be her for you."

"Thanks dad, you really are a great father." I say leaning in for a hug.

"He's the best, Sophia says coming around the corner. Whats up?" she says, with a worried look. I hesitate but then she ask "Do you need some sister time?"

I smile and say "Yeah thats exactly what I need." As we make our way to the patio, I feel weird discussing the situation with her, but I know she won't judge me.

Before I can even open my mouth, sophia reaches over and puts her arm around me "Whats going on?" She ask more concerned now.

"Im really confused abut something and my actions are hurting someone I really care about." I reply, trying to be as vague as possible.