Brandon's Story #Wattys2016

Making Amends

My alarm clock continued to buzz waking me from a very deep slumber. It felt like I had been been lobotomized, I have never been this hungover before. In fact, I rarely drank, good pianist have to keep a clear mind., after all. After another half hour of just laying here , trying to collect my thoughts in to the memory of last night,  suddenly everything clicked and I instantly felt remorse. What had I done? Why would I have ever said such horrible, mean things to the girl I love. I felt like such an ass and I knew I had to make it right. Ignoring my pounding head I shot up out of bed and quickly grabbed some clothes. The house was quiet and no-one was up yet so I rushed to take a shower before everyone else. I creeped in to the bathroom and quietly turned the shower on. As the warm water ran down my face I contemplated on how I could make amends. It was one thing to loose Callie as my girlfriend, but I couldn't bare not having her as apart of my life in some way. I came to the realization that before anything we were friends and her selflessness and determination not to let life break her is why I had such respect for her. I had to try harder, no matter how much I was hurting, I would try harder. I would avert my gaze quickly as to not make her uncomfortable and I would speak to her like I use too, before the feelings became so strong. After I rinsed off , I stepped out of the tub, wrapping my self in a warm towel. I stood by the sink and reached for my toothbrush. Brushing my teeth I continued to think of ways I could make it right again,not for me but for Callie. Right here, right now I commit to be who she needs me to be, but I knew who I would still be in the hollowed walls of my room. Even if I truly wanted to make the feelings go away, love doesn't work like that. Once it gets ahold of you, it never lets go. I make my way back to my room, just as everyone is getting up. As soon as I get dressed I rush downstairs and grab some breakfast. I make sure to eat quickly before everyone else comes down. I thought the best thing, would be to corner Callie and ask her to come with me out of the house so we could talk. I decided since she loved coffee so much, but moms hated when she drank it, I would ask her to go to her favorite coffee shop just down the street. I make my way to t the living room and waite for everyone to come down and eat. Not long after I take a seat, everyone comes running down the stairs like a stampede of hungry animals. I look up and I see Callie, she still has that same hurt in her eyes. Mom sees me sitting alone on the couch and comes over and says " Hey B what are you doing up so early, on Sundays you usually sleep late?"

"I just have some things to do today, I say not giving to much information."

She replies, "Well ok, I think everyone is going to be out of the house today anyway."

"Oh really" I say with a bit of enthusiasm."

"Ok! Well have a nice day," she replies.

Just then she returns to the kitchen with everyone and I see Callie head for the stairs. I call out to her and she turns around giving me a steel look

"Yes, Brandon" she says with a bit of hesitation...

"We need to talk what happened, about the things I said. Can we go get some coffee?" I ask with a pleading tone.

"Ok !"but only because mom hid the coffee beans and I can't make any." she replies more willing now. I couldn't help but chuckle a little at this. She gives me a smirk letting me know I shouldn't push it. She then says  "Just let me go take a shower and get dressed."

"Ok !"I say happy that she is being really mature about the situation, even though I wouldn't blame her if she just blew me off.

I make my way back to the couch and switch on the tv while I waite. Nothing too good is on,  just some Sunday morning cartoons. I sat there thinking about what I could say, or do to make up for being such a jerk, not just for last night but since the adoption. I promised I would try, although when it comes to Callie pretending not to love her is near impossible.

I hear Callie coming down the stairs and I quickly switch the tv off and look up. She lookes so beautiful, in her skinny jeans and those shirts she loves that show just enough skin and leave the rest to the imagination. Stop it! Reminding my self  I quickly avert my gaze and look away.

"Brandon, are you ok" she says.

"Yea, sure! You ready." I say

Yeap, lets go I need a serious caffeine fix" she replies

"Ok!" I say and we make our way out of the house and to the car.

As we drive we don't say a lot and as hard as it is I keep my eyes on the road the entire time. We arrive to Cup A Cappachino, it has a word name but Callie loves the coffee. I know exactly what to order, so as Callie finds us a table in the far corner I ask for two dark roast with a splash of milk and honey. Callie's not big on sugar in her coffee, she prefers the sweetness of honey. She got me to try it one day and it's actually pretty good. After paying and leaving a tip in the giant jar by the register I make my way over to her and place the cups on the table.

"She smells the aroma and says "Mike and honey, just the way i like it"

I reply with a smile "Of course, it's your favorite."

"Only you would know that Brandon" she replies.

"I know everything about you Callie," I say before I relies this is the opposite of trying. She smiles and lowers her head. I think for a moment and then I start.

"Callie, Im so sorry for last night. You have to know I didn't mean any of it."

"Brandon, alcohol has a way of making people share their darkest desires and secrets, some of what you said was not made up to just hurt me." she replies with a determination not to cry. "As she holds in the tears I plead with all of my heart, "Callie I will say, that the only thing that was definitely true is that you broke my heart, but I don't regret you coming into my life. You're my best friend and I never want to loose that."

At that moment she can no longer hold back and a few tears escape down her cheeks, she then replies " Brandon you know that this isn't easy for me either, but I am fighting with everything I have to be what Im suppose to be to you."

"Then I will make a promise to you right now, that I will do the same and you will no longer see the angry brandon I was becoming,"  I say meaning every word.  She then reaches for my hand and even though her touch is the most lethal thing to me I smile and don't let on a thing. I made a promise and I intend to keep it, even if it means I am slowly dying inside. We sit there for a while drinking our coffee and chatting about whats been going on in our lives. On that sunny afternoon as the time passes us by in that little coffee shop we become once again what we always were, friends.