Brandon's Story #Wattys2016

Acceptance

     Things seem to be going smoothly since we found out that Callie could still have her adoption voided. I have been playing the dutiful brother while maintaining a respectable distance. As for how I really feel, well thats more complicated. I can push my feelings down as deep as I need to, if that will make Callie happy. Sure there are times in the middle of the night where I still dream of a world where we can be together, but that will always remain my deepest secret. To anyone else, it may be considered wrong to still have these feelings and memories, but to me it's not. Nobody will ever know how close we came to actually choosing each other. The images and feelings from that night will always be with me and I will hang onto them, with every fiber of my being. The system might be able to take her from me, but it can never take what we had. Suddenly I am shaken from my thoughts when I hear moms calling everyone for dinner. I head downstairs to join everyone, where mom is dishing out salad and pasta. Callie is seated across from me and I make sure not to stare.

As Im looking down at my plate, Mom says "Brandon, Callie! Have you been thinking about what college you might want to attend?"

I look up as Callie says "Huh, no not really, it hasn't really been on my mind."

"Well, it should be, your almost half way through senior year and you need to start making a decision." Mom replies

"What about you Brandon, besides Juilliard that is?" Mom asked.

"I don't know, I suppose just somewhere with a good classical piano program." I reply.

"Ok! Well, I have a treat for both of you."Mom says.

"What?" Callie ask excited. Now my curiosity is peaked as well.

Mom goes on to say "You know that both mom and I would prefer you go to college in state for financial reasons and we would love to be close to you, and this weekend is college orientation at UCLA."

"Oh yea, I herd about that in class." I say.

"Well, we want both you and Callie to go visit the campus for the weekend to check it out and see if its somewhere you would be interested in going." I froze for a moment and in my panic missed most of what mom said. Their was no way I could go somewhere with Callie alone, not now. I have only been playing this brother role for a few months. I wasn't ready for us to be alone together, thats why I have been keeping my distance.

When I come back from my thoughts I hear Callie say "That sounds exciting, I would love to go."

"Ok! What about you B?" Mom asked.

I hesitate as I answer "Sure that sounds cool."

I can see Callie has a twinkle in her eyes as she looks over to me and says "Brandon, this is going to be so much fun."

"Yeah! It sure is ." I reply hoping she doesn't hear the sarcasm in my voice.

"Great! Then its settled." Mom says. She continues "I will make the hotel arrangements and call the school to let them know you will be attending."

"Cool! I say, but inside I'm in panic mode and as soon as I can I excuse myself I do.

The week came and went and before I knew it Friday was here and moms were packing up the car with snacks and our bags that we packed the night before. I look up and see Callie flying off the porch into moms arms to say "Good by" while I just smile and wave.

"Ok, you guys be carful, and remember Callie you're still under the judges thumb for another week."

"I know! I will be on my best behavior." Callie says.

We both get in the car and Callie looks over at me and says "This is going to be so much fun."

"It sure is." I say hiding any emotion that I have. I pull out of the drive way and we are on our way. Callie connects her phone to the radio and I am surprised at what I hear. "Callie! Since when do you listen to The Weepies?"

She turns her head my way, smiles and says "What can I say, you have rubbed off on me." I can't help but smile right back.

"Brandon! How long till we get their?" She ask.

"About two hours." I say.

"Oh, ok! Well, I didn't sleep much last night so if I fall asleep just wake me up when we get there."

"Sure thing." I say as I continue to drive. As we pass through the streets of San Diego and make our way onto the highway I start to think maybe this will be ok. I can control myself, I'm not some love sick puppy anymore, in fact this will be good for me. It will be the ultimate test to see if I can truly separate my feelings from who I use to be with Callie to who I need to be now. After driving a while, I look over at her and she's already out. She has her seat reclined back and her legs stretched out onto the dashboard. She looks like an angel when she sleeps. I avert my gaze when I see signs for the Los Angeles exit. Callie has never been here so I contemplate waking her, but decide against it as she looks so peaceful, besides she can always see the sights on our way back. I drive for another half hour and I soon see the campus in the distance. I look over at Callie and say "Wake up sleeping beauty, were here." She wipes the sleepiness out of her eyes and stretches.

"Woah! Did I sleep the whole time?" She says

"Yeah, like a baby." I reply with a grin.

"Wow, Brandon this campus is huge" She says with wide eyes now.

"Yeah! It's definitely one of the biggest colleges in the United States." I continue "Mom says that the hotel is right off campus so we should go there first and get checked in.

"Ok!" she replies.

I drive a little past the campus and I see the hotel. I pull in to a parking spot and Callie and I jump out. "You can wait here while I go get us checked in."

"Ok! Sounds good." She says.

It isn't the nicest hotel, but it would be fine for a few days. It's one of those hotels where the rooms connect to the outside . After getting us all checked in I head back out to Callie and give her a room key.

"Thats my room and you're two doors down." I say.

"Ok!" She says.

"We should go freshen up so we can make the freshman orientation at two o'clock . I glance down on my phone to check the time and it was already a quarter till. "We better hurry, Moms will kill us if we miss it. I will meet you back at the car in half an hour."I say.

"Ok!" She says.

We both grab our bags and make our way to our separate rooms. As soon as I get in the room I take a seat on the bed and breath a sigh of relief that I am no longer in that tiny car with Callie. I can't believe how much restraint I had, it really gives me hope that I can do this. I can finally let her go,and accept that she is my sister. I quickly come back to reality and realize this is going to be a long weekend, but I have to make sure that I do not cross anymore lines.