Chapter 1

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  • Dedicated to To my wonderful editors; BeautifullyImperfect, BreathingsofmyHeart, and ViaHeart
                                    

                                                                                          I.

My mother told me that beauty was a curse, not a blessing. 

 "Take it from me," she said, "I had to hurt some men that did not deserve to see heartache.  I did not want to walk away, but I had to make a choice.  Not every man can be the one," she laughed after she finished applying her lipstick, and then pulled me up to the reflection in the mirror. "You will have the same problem, my little Divinity Rosemarie Claire," she said pushing my hair back, "spitting image of me!  Oh yes, you will definitely have the same problem." 

I remember that day when she said those words in her carefree tone.  I remember how I did not quite understand the meaning of love or heartache, but as I stared into the mirror I felt a chill.  Her words seemed to both mock me and haunt despite their simplicity.   Eventually, I discovered just how right she was.

I never imagined that I would have three good men vying for my affections.  It was so surreal, unexpected, and overwhelming.  

Robert was the first when he declared his love over a cup of coffee.  One moment we were speaking easily about money orders and payments, and the very next, he was completely stiff and silent.  He stared straight at me and said, "Divinity, you are the most beautiful women I have every laid eyes on. I didn't know true beauty until I met you."  His words sent my coffee flying out of my mouth. I doubt that was the reaction he had hoped for. 

Later that day I called up my good friend Christian, to complain about my dilemma and ask him what he thought from a man's point of view.  My emotions came out in a torrent of words as I retold what had happened.  I blabbed on about how I didn't want to hurt Rob, but I couldn't possibly return his feelings. The more I talked, the more upset I became, and the more upset I became the faster I spoke.  I finally ran out of breath and there was a small silence.  Christian was the first to speak.

"Babe," I heard, "I never told you this but I think I'm in love with you."  I dropped my phone in shock and stared at it for a minute.  There was nothing left to do but apologize and quickly hang up.

The next two days I was in what seemed like a permanent state of anxiety.  I paced back and forth, wringing my hands, while murmuring to myself, much to the annoyance of my roommate. Just when I thought the situation could not get any worse, I noticed something on my desk.  An envelope with a red rose on top laid there.  It looked so innocent, so pure, and yet at the same time it gave me an uneasy feeling.  "Maggie? What's that?" I asked, pointing to the thing on my desk.

My roommate looked up from her computer and stared at me through her thick rimmed glasses.  "I dunno," she said, "Drew told me to give it to you."

I tossed the rose aside and tore open the envelope.  I gave a cry of frustration after reading its contents. I collapsed to my bed with a big dramatic sigh.  The note was left fluttering downwards towards the floor.  The actual words did not call for that reaction. They were simple, casual and honest, everything one would want in a note.  It was the meaning behind those words that left my emotions spiraling downwards.

"Divy-"-- it read simply-- "We need to talk.  This friend thing isn't working out for me anymore. I have come to realize that you mean more to me than that.  I'm sorry. -Drew"

"Wow," Maggie said when she picked the note up and read it, "you were able to find more guys that love you in a week than I have in a year.  Impressive."

Those were the events that lead to the lie that was suppose to fix everything. Looking back, I cannot fathom what I was thinking.  Nevertheless, on Saturday, during my usual performance at Alice's Coffeepot, I announced that I was engaged to a man in Chicago, who went by the name of David Ryan. 

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