My Dirty Revelation

The Call

"Tisha, please. I've only called you like a thousand times in the past three weeks. Please talk to me, please." I plead into my phone as I stand in line at the coffee shop with Nate. I'm on my way to the office, grabbing a quick pick me up. "Okay. Well, call me I guess." I sigh and end my message as we approach the front of the line. The petite barista smiles at Nate, flushing under his blue eyes. "Two pumpkin spice lattes." I order, smiling at her. "Okay..." the girl nods and Nate hands over his card. "You don't have to pay for mine." I say, digging in my work tote for my wallet. "I know, I want to." Nate says, flashing me a goofy grin. I laugh, I've been so thankful for his company over the past few weeks. Josie has been MIA since I last called her about Jamie, and I've been blessed with Nate's ability to show up. I mean we have been spending pretty much everyday together when we aren't at work or school. I follow him to the side of the shop where we wait for our warm drinks. It's gotten so cold outside. November is prepping us for December. "What am I going to do about Thanksgiving if Tisha never talks to me again?" I sigh, tightening my light grey long peacoat around my waist.

It's Friday, only two weeks until Thanksgiving. I'm wearing a pair of black skinny jeans with a thick v-neck pale blue sweater, and a pair of small black booties. "You can just have Thanksgiving with me and my family." Nate says, shrugging his shoulders. "Nate?" the barista calls his name and he steps forward to grab our warm drinks. I glare at him as he hands me mine. "As great as that sounds, my parents are flying in next Monday. They are going to wonder where I am..." I say, taking my coffee. "I am sure Tisha will call you, at least to tell you what's going on for Thanksgiving. She's at least that organized." Nate laughs a little and I roll my eyes, following him out of the shop and into bitter morning air. "Yeah...I guess." I stiffen my shoulders as the wind tries to slip past my coat. I'm thankful for my thick hair, red and straight along my shoulders. Though the color has faded to more of an orange-red. I'm trying to let it fade so I can go back to blonde. "Alright, so I'll see you tonight for the movie?" Nate asks as we head to our cars, parked together at the front of the coffee lot. "Yes. I will be at your place at eight." I smile, wrapping my free arm around him. He smells of peppermints and cologne. "Good, see you then." he hugs me back, kissing my cheek before we separate.

I am rosy red from the outside air when I walk out of the elevators on my floor. Allen smiles brightly at me and I lean across the front desk to talk to him. "Here." I hand him my coffee, letting him take a sip. "You're looking better and better everyday sister." he smiles, taking a quick sip then hands me the drink back. "Thanks." I say, wrenching at the thought of Jamie. It still hurts, just as bad. "Time heals all wounds." Allen winks and I stand up straight, winking back. "Or I've just gotten really good at hiding my wounds." I say before heading down the hall. Even I'm depressed by my own words. It's true, I've gotten really well at covering my broken self up over the past three weeks. Jamie has made it pretty easy. Since that first day I haven't heard from him or seen him. He's made himself scarce on my floor of the building. I try to shake my thoughts of him as I sit down at my desk, taking my coat off just as Tyler is heading down the hall. Dear god, why? He's been especially creepy this week. Right on cue he sits on the side of my desk, his leg brushing my arm as I'm sitting my tote on the ground next to me. I glare at him through my lashes, trying to warn him with my eyes. He smiles at me, a smile that makes every inch of my skin crawl.

"Don't you look so...filled out in that baby blue sweater." he raises his eyebrows at me. Ew. I ignore him, booting up my computer. "So, you have any big plans for Thanksgiving?" he asks, scooting a little closer on the desk towards me. "I'm not sure yet." I say dryly, signing into the computer. I open the folder of things to do on my desk, Tyler's breath way too close to my face. I try to scoot closer to my computer but he slides down the desk towards me again. "What a shame. You know I'm always around if you're feeling blue around the Holidays Jess...for whatever you need." he winks at me, elongating the word "whatever." I try not to vomit in my mouth. "So, what do you say?" he moves his hand to my shoulder, rubbing down my arm. I try to wiggle away just as a dark haired woman clicks down the hall in her heels. Tyler hears her and slides away from me, winking before standing to his feet as the woman approaches my desk. "I need to speak with Oliver." she says quickly. I nod to her and go to press his page button but Tyler stops me. "No need Jessica, I'll get Oliver for Miss Patton. We wouldn't want you wasting all your energy on something as un-pleasurable as that." Tyler says, breathy and slimy. He winks at me again and hurries to Oliver's office, knocking on it. Oliver answers quickly, his brow furrowed. He has papers in his hands and he pushes past Tyler and stands close to Miss Patton.

"I just didn't see this coming." he speaks quietly, pointing away from Tyler and I. I pretend to type, pricking my ears to hear them talk. "I know...I thought, well I wasn't sure but he never showed any signs..." I pick up what I can, narrowing my eyes, hoping it will help my ears open up. "I know. A divorce...wow. He's so young, and they were barely married four months." Oliver shakes his head and I can't pretend to work anymore. A Divorce? Who are they talking about. "Anyway, we better get these papers to him. He says he wants them signed by them both today." Miss Patton says and Oliver nods, following her down the hall. Tyler is quick to follow, I'm sure to try and weasel information out of Oliver. I roll my eyes, but I'm happy he's gone so I can relax a little. I'm just about to start typing up a few notes when my phone buzzes on my desk. I sigh loudly, annoyed until I see that it's Tisha. I nearly drop my phone hurrying to answer it.

"Tisha!?" I scream into the phone. "Sh!" she scolds me and I clap my hand over my mouth. It's so good to hear her voice. "Tisha, I'm sorry. I've called you a thousand times. I'm so sorry, please." I say quickly but she stops me. "I'm not calling to hear your apology Jess, we just need to talk about Thanksgiving. Can you come over tonight?" she asks, sighing. "Yes. What time?" I answer quickly. I'll just see a later move with Nate, he'll understand. "Nine. See you then." she says and hangs up. "Tisha?" I ask just in case, sighing when she doesn't answer though I'm smiling. At least she's talking to me. I'm actually in a good mood as I start typing. I can see her face to face and maybe we can talk. I smile a little wider, looking up from the computer for a moment. My face falls. Jamie is standing in the meeting room. He's shaking hands with a few older men in suits as they sit down around the table. He's not even glancing over at me as he sits on the edge of his seat, listening to whatever the other suits have to say. My heart is breaking all over again. He looks. Well it's hard to tell from the side. But I know he at least looks sexy. And he has it enough together to meet with people. I can feel my throat closing. I tear my eyes away from him, taking deep breaths, tears are pricking at my eyes. No, I don't want to cry. I quickly stand, doing my best not to look at him and hurry, practically run to the bathroom. It still hurts. Time may heal wounds but it doesn't heal an open chest, a heart that's been stomped all over. It doesn't heal a constant longing for someone. I miss him so much. I stare at myself in the mirror. I'm holding back my tears, breathing hard. I miss him. I miss him. Oh fuck. It hurts.