My Accidental NFL Boyfriend

                Let me warn you…I will never become an alcoholic…When I drink, bad things happen…

            “ONE MORE,” I scream, my arms shaking and my legs wobbly. “I have to beat you!” Caleb laughs at me, seemingly unaffected, as I, on the other hand, could barely stand up.

            The waiter fills the shot glass up and I down it, as his football friends roar in laughter.

            “You’ve got a spunky one!”

            I trip over the stool and fall flat on my ass, dropping the shot glass and listening to it shatter to the floor.

            “NO!” I cry, trying to pick up the pieces.

            “What do you think you’re doing?!” Caleb growls, grabbing my bleeding fingers roughly. “Are you stupid?”

            “CALEB YOU’RE A MEANIE. AND GUESS WHAT! I’M NOT THE 34 A GIRL YOU USED TO BULLY! I’M NOW A B, CALEB! I’M A B! DON’T CALL ME STUPID! I’LL BEAT YOU UP WITH MY CHEST NOW!”

            Laughter surrounds me. “Do you not believe me?!” I cry, punching him in the chest. “Ow, my feet hurt,” I add. I had no shame… Taking my heels up in the air, I throw them hollering, “Bye bye calluses!”

            “Jayla,” Kelsey says, acting more sober than I was, “Let’s go home…I’ll go get Vivian, and I’ll call a taxi…”

            “NO! I have to beat Caleb; I won’t be the devil’s girlfriend! I’d rather be spirited away by a demon! Oh man, I really want a demon. Do you know how sexy horns would be, or like, red eyes? Do you know how much it would scare people and then they won’t call me the small boobed brat anymore back hooome!”

            “Wow, she’s a unique one,” someone says, “I’m surprised she’s not all over you, wanting to bed the quarterback. Instead, she’s talking about a demon being better than you…”

            “She’s my childhood,” Caleb chuckles, “I used to make her red in anger every day of her life. I’ll be her demon, no problem.”

            “SHUT UP!” I cry at Kelsey, “I want icecream, with unicorn sprinkles and…” Bile rises in my throat. “CALEB I FEEL GROSS. I NEED WA-WA.” (water)

            “Oh no,” Kelsey cries, “RUN TO THE BATHROOM NOW!” I fall back onto the comfy, cold floor, as the room spins. “Bathrooms are gross, people are gross, I’m gross. The world’s gross. THINK OF HOW MUCH BACTERIA THERE IS IN THE WORLD. And this bacteria is everywhere. It’s on me right now, except not sexually but with KILLING INTENT!!”

            Caleb hoists me up from the ground, “Where is the car?” Kelsey now stands beside levelheaded Vivian.

            “I’ll call it right now! Let’s go outside, oh my god she hasn’t gotten this bad in awhile…You must be pretty special,” Vivian gushes. “Just drag her by her hair if she becomes too difficult. She likes it rough.”

            “NO I DON’T. I’m not a dog I don’t go ruff ruff! Stop Vivian you’re embarrassing me!” Tears pour down my cheeks.

            “Are you sure someone didn’t put anything in her drink?”   

            “Not sure,” Caleb admits, “But it’s hilarious.”

            “Oh no,” I cry, “I don’t feel goo—”

            The most disgusting noise comes out of my throat, followed by vomit. Everything I had drank in the past 30 minutes just sprayed all over the star Quarterback of the Jets…

            Goodbye, World.

            I’ll see you after every fan girl gets their claws on me.

I DID NOT EXPECT TO UPDATE AGAIN, but I was so excited I was under 1,000 in ROMANCE! Holy mother of Caleb, I love you all. I’m literally shaking in my bed right now out of happiness, you’re all amazing. 

Remember to VOTE, COMMENT, AND FAN FOR CALEB TO SPOON YOU TONIGHT!