Silent Tears

Chapter Fourteen

Hey guys, so no I'm not dead, I just got really busy, than I lost my spark for writing so I hope that this is the beginning of me picking it up again. Hope you guys enjoy, and thanks for reading. Let me know what you guys think!!!

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I woke up the next day feeling numb. It was strange and startling but a much welcomed relief from the usual heartache that I woke up to every time. I was curled in bed where I must have feel asleep cuddled in Rose's warmth as she filled me with stories of my mother's youth. I remembered everything. The argument, the graveyard, coming back to Rose's house in a daze, my breakdown; but I felt separate from it all. I knew I was laying in bed, curled in a ball but it's like I wasn't there. I wasn't conscious of me and it was the best thing in the world. I knew I was in pain but I wasn't conscious of that either. It's as if God felt that I was about to break, that the last bit of thread that held me together was so close to snapping and gave me a break.
I lay there cuddled in bed for awhile. Time passed by painstakingly slow but fast at the same time. I watched the darkness disappear from my room as the beginning shred of light appeared, but I stayed in that same position.
"Emily, Emily sweetly are you up?" Came Rose's voice from my door as she knocked. I stayed silent.
"Emily?" She knocked again and even though I was aware of her speaking, I couldn't find the energy to utter a sound.
Rose opened the door slowly and peeked in. Probably wondering if I had snuck off into the night again, or to see why I was still sleeping; since I was usually first one up. She looked surprised to see my eyes open, just laying in bed.
"Emily? What's wrong hun, didn't you hear me knocking?" She asked.
I just stared too exhausted to do anything else.
It's as if the past couple of months have finally caught up to me. I felt so exhausted and tired although I had slept soundly throughout the night after my talk with Rose.
She was still in the room trying to get me to tell her what was wrong. She called Daniel in when I wouldn't respond to her but he didn't get a reaction out of me either.
I'm my strange state, I felt a hint of surprise. Dan was sitting right next to me, so close that I could feel the heat radiating out of his body as he spoke to me yet I couldn't feel that paralyzingly fear that struck every time a male was around me.
When Rose and Daniel started to fuss too much I just shut my eyes. I was just so tired. So tired. Just tired.
They left the room and went outside to speak. They didn't close the door and I heard them discussing whether to call a doctor or just let me rest some more.
I wanted it to tell them not to call a doctor. That this was the best I've been since the incident. Why would I want a doctor right now to bring back the pain? I opened my mouth but all that came out was a soft moan. I couldn't gather enough energy to tell them no and so I stayed in bed listening to Rose on the phone with my psychiatrist.
I sent a quick prayer to God. "God, if you're there, if you're really there, please don't bring the pain back!" And I kept repeating my little prayer in my head until I fell into a deep and dreamless sleep once again.