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seventeen

just wanted to say that i actually never spell check so im sorry for any errors (english isnt my first language anyways so bare with me)! thank u for the reads so far, the votes and especially the comments! theres nothing that encourages me more to continue this story. hope u all have a nice day and sorry for the depressing shit i write,  but it will all make sense, i promise x

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Calum POV

I was lying in my bunk in the tour bus on our way to Turin, and I didn't know if I should cry or laugh.

I avoided talking to everyone since the incident with Michael happened, and even though I had a great time with Luke back in Milan, writing Fly Away and having a nice day with everyone, I still felt really bad. I couldn't be around Michael without feeling as if I needed to run away and it honestly confused me so much.

I knew what I did last night at the club upset him a lot, but I somehow wanted it to happen. I wanted to show Michael that I would in no way be with him and that I was straight. What happened between us was just for fun, it was nothing serious. I didn't like guys and I didn't like Michael in that way, I was straight. And he didn't seem to understand that, so I needed to show him.

I felt bad because I knew that Michael had a hard time figuring out his sexuality. He once told me that he thought he was bisexual, but he still didn't want to label himself until he was completely sure. And I shouldn't have done that, I shouldn't have kissed him in the first place, because now he might be even more confused.

But I was never good in admitting my mistakes and I just couldn't bring myself to talk to him about it and apologize. Whenever he looked at me I just felt that he was still so hurt and that he maybe had feelings for me, but who was I to assume something like that.

I sighed and sat up, thinking about watching a little TV. I couldn't sleep and we only drove roughly two hours, so it wouldn't bring me too much rest anyways.

Everyone went straight into their bunks as we left Milan, because apparently everyone was pretty hungover – even Freya.

So I got out of my little bed and walked to the back of the bus. As I opened the doors they revealed a super tired looking Luke, and I smiled softly as he looked up to me.

"Hey buddy" I said, sitting down next to him, slipping under the blanket Luke offered me.

"Hey" He said quietly, his eyes glued to the TV in front of him.

"Are you okay?" I asked, snuggling to his side.

"Not really." His eyes still didn't leave the screen. "I'm not gonna ask how you feel, because obviously you don't feel good as well."

"What? No, Luke, really. I'm fine." I smiled, hoping he would finally look at me.

"Shut up Calum, why do you think you need to lie about being sad to you best friends? You know that we would support you. Don't you trust us?"

I gulped at Luke's harsh tone. "Luke, it is nothing bad. I promise. If there would be anything I would tell you."

Luke just scoffed and changed channels.

"Is there anything I can do to make you feel better, though?" I asked, hoping he would calm down a little.

"Yeah. You could shoot me"

I took the remote away from him and turned the TV out, grabbing his face and forcing him to look at me. "Don't you ever say something like that again, Luke Robert Hemmings."

Luke looked at me with sad eyes, his mouth opening as if he wanted to say something. But instead he shifted around so he was sitting up and threw himself into my arms. His face buried in my chest, I could hear little sobs coming out of his mouth.