Sometimes There Is No Brightside [Edward Masen-Cullen]

Chapter Six

"Joyce?"

"Leave!" I yelled at the closed door and buried my face in my pillow, my throat hoarse from crying.

"Honey, is everything..."

"Leave!" I screamed again, hysteria in my voice. Sally seemed to have given up, as I didn’t hear her anymore.

The covers on my bed were wet from my tears, and my whole body hurt from the sobs that shook me still. My eyes swollen and my vision therefore blurred, I crawled to my dressing table and fumbled for the container of morphine, and gladly swallowed the contents, not caring if it was too much or not.

Nothing mattered anymore.

In the moments it took for the drug to work, I saw as clearly as seldom before: Edward had been right in so many points.

I would never have a family. I would never be loved. I would never get out of this hell, this vicious circle.

I had thrown away my only hope at an escape and cast away the only person who cared about me, the one person I had so badly wanted back in my life. I had pushed him away for the pathetic reason of my pride, or what was left of it, and there was no way of getting him back.

"You were right..." I wailed and sank onto my bed. "You were right, you were right..."

Then, mercifully, the drug began to work.

Narrator’s P.O.V.

The fire burning in his eyes could have cast sparks into the dark alley as Edward stormed through the night. Luckily no human was out in this cold November night, as he didn’t feel quite in control of himself, to phrase it lightly.

He was outraged. Enraged. Shocked. Disappointed. Full of despair. And, worse, he was not completely immune to the alluring scent of human blood yet, and he doubted he would ever be.

Letting out a growl, he punched the solid brick wall beside him, nearly tearing it down completely with the force of the impact.

Beatrice was alive, yes. Yet he had come too late to fulfill the promises he had given her back then; to assure her a good future, to protect her from evil, to support her... As a brother, he was a big-time failure, he noted grimly.

Beatrice had been right in so many points.

What had he expected, after all? That she would thrust herself into his arms, seeing him as her hero? Hardly. The girl had always been proud and stubborn. And after all, she had believed him dead for so long... Why hadn’t he come earlier? He could have so easily saved her...

Edward sighed. In many ways, Beatrice was the woman he had predicted her to be. Beautiful, independent - in a way, at least -, proud, passionate and quick-tempered. But lifeless, with no hopes and ambitions, and too oblivious for her own good. And desperate, clinging to drugs to give her relief...

Their meeting had gone utterly wrong, and he saw little chance that he could make it alright again, especially after the things he had said and after leaving without another word.

The fact that Beatrice didn’t want to be saved didn’t help, either. And he realized now that he had the wrong approach to it; he had been too forceful about it, inevitably triggering her pride and therewith leading her to defend her position more fiercely than she might have had he been more understanding... Now, he was afraid, he had pushed her so far away that he would never get her back, that the Beatrice he had known was lost for good. Maybe she was even right, Edward thought, after all, she had built this life herself. For a penniless orphan, she had done remarkably well, no wonder she wouldn’t let that be downplayed. Others in her stead would have died in the first winter or ended up in the gutters.

Why hadn’t he talked her softly into leaving that part of her life behind her?

Because he wasn’t in a state right now to do anything softly, monster that he was, Edward thought grimly.

He’d only come here to help Bea, to give her the future she deserved, then he would have been gone, far away so he could never harm her... but he had messed up, maybe pushed her even deeper into the abyss.

And what could he have done for her, anyways? Bea had a point... why would she trust him to make it all work out for her? He hadn’t been able to offer her anything.

In short, the whole situation was a catastrophe. And always, there was this overwhelming thirst...

Well, Edward thought bitterly, at least one worry had been unnecessary: She didn’t screamingly flee when she heard I was a vampire.

Now he almost regretted leaving Carlisle. He could have needed his advice now, and a conversation with him might be the best thing for him... but Edward had made his decision.

Meanwhile, not far away, a young woman was admitted to hospital, her broken heart only faintly beating.

"Another drug overdose?" The doctor sighed. Lately there had been many cases of drug abuse, and least of the patients could be saved.

"Yes. And apparently deeply depressed, too, according to the tears." The nurse nodded, looking at the beautiful patient with sympathy. "Maybe attempted suicide."

"Well, we won’t let her achieve that goal." The doctor said resolutely.

The nurse looked again at the tear-streaked face and saw such grief on the woman’s face that she wondered what could have happened to a girl so young.

Men, the nurse thought not without contempt.