My Calling

Twenty Four - Facing Facts

Chapter Twenty Four

Yay this is a pretty intense chapter but I'm kind of happy with it. Kinda. Anyway, hope you enjoy it and some of it is kind of messy because I keep getting confused with all my main girls and plotlines from my stories so I'm sorry for that!

This is dedicated to Makayla cos she gets me and she's pretty ballin'. Although New Zealand is beTTER THAT AUSTRALIA> ok great thanks.

enjoy da chapter guise. tell me what you think. pop a comment and vote if ya like.

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On Friday, after we’ve uploaded our song to YouTube, Drew and I are walking back to my car. He turns to me and says, “Bonfire in Huntington on Saturday night for Kenny’s birthday. You down?”

My stomach churns in knots as I quickly shake my head. “No, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Not an answer. Kenny wants to you to come, so you’re coming.”

“Really Drew, I don’t think it’s a good idea,” I say softly as we approach my car.

He takes a deep breath and stops, “Look I know something went down between you and Wes but Kenny really wants you to come and so does my Mum so I said I’d ask. I want you there too, you and Wes will work it out, don’t worry.”

“That’s the thing, I don’t think we will.” My mind flashes back to Wednesday night and my heart clenches. I remember the look he gave me and I have to blink a few times to try to rid myself of the image. I focus back in on Drew. “I think I’ve done it this time.”

He sighs. “He’s just hurt. Look, think about it like this, if you come down on Saturday you can chat to him about things, talk it over.”

I start to slowly shake my head in protest but he grabs it in between his hands to stop me. “No Asha, okay? You’re gonna come down and you’ll work things out. Everything has a way of doing that in the end. Now go home and get some rest because it’s going to be hectic as.”

And with that he turns and walks off, leaving me standing next to my car. I take a deep breath and lean back on my car’s shiny exterior, thinking about Wednesday night.

I don’t even really remember how I got home. All I remember is feeling numb. So so numb. And tired. And stupid. And defenceless. And hurt. Hurt because Wes now hates me.

He hates me.

And there’s no one to blame other than myself.

When he walked out of that room on Wednesday, I felt so broken. And confused. I mean, I should’ve been happy right, he was leaving me alone, leaving me to get on with my life. It’s what I wanted a couple months ago and he finally gave it to me. But no, it’s not what I want now. I don’t want him to leave me. I spent so much time pushing him away that now I’ve pushed him too far. I feel so stupid. A whole load of stupid because I promised myself I’d never let myself get this way. But I did and it’s over him. Over Wes, the boy I swore I would never fall for. But I did, I did fall for him and without realising it, I fell hard and fast. It took all this to realise that I wanted him. Want him. I want him to hold me. I want the feel of his lips on my own. But I can’t have that now because I fucked it up. I really fucking fucked it up. And now he doesn’t want me. He wants nothing to do with me because I’m stupid and an idiot and one big mind fuck of emotion.

I feel so lost and hopeless and I don’t know what to do because all I want is for Wes to talk to me again. I want everything to be okay and if I could have played Wednesday over, I never would’ve drank and I never would’ve let him kiss me and I never would’ve said those things about a one night stand. I would’ve done the right thing. I would’ve talked to him like a normal person. I would’ve told him my feelings like a normal person. But I can’t do that now because he’s not talking to me.