A Heart Doesn't Break Even. |Max George & Siva Kaneswaran|

Bye

* 2 weeks later*

I am home. I'm safe. For now. I need to go. I can't. At the hospital it looked very easy to go back to the house. I barely talk to anyone, only Jay and Siva try to talk. Nathan his eyes tell me he's sorry for me. I have to move out. Siva suggested to go to Los Angels with them where they will work, we would stay somewhere else. It sounded tempting I wanted to but something told me it could be bad.

*1 week later*
Now I'm great. I feel great. I have to leave now, now the harsch feelings are calming down. I arranged my escape. Tomorrow night. I went to bed. Silent like every night. Siva isn't a sleep because he ain't near me. There's empty space between us which is growing since he kissed my shoulder and I refused to turn over. "I hate silent nights it's a slowly dead." I heard him say, it reminded me of when he said that once before. We had a huge fight, when we made up he said he preffered fighting over not speaking. Tomorrow, tomorrow he will know what I'm thinking. Tomorrow things will change,
I've planned this maybe not how I wanted to but when he's crushed and mad will he say "I want to see you never again?" I hope so.

I woke up with the sunshine. 6.30. I started to pack which we all would be doing because The Wanted goes to Los Angeles. I take an earlier flight. When I was dressed I decided to walk in Max's room. Somehow he managed to not look surprised. "You look dressed like it's very very hot." I can't lie to Max, that's why I'm here. "I'm happy I can go to Los Angeles." And I am, change is good. "But?" He knew me so well. "I will be in the next plane that goes there." One more time he looked like he already knew. He didn't need to ask I already knew the next question. "Before I go I will wake him. He deserves to know. I don't know how he will react. You deserved to know that hell might break loose." He nodded at me, it ended with a long staring competition. "Bye Max." I gave him a kiss on his cheeck and tried to leave his room. My heart started to beat faster when he started to strike my arm. "Bye." he said.

Okay. I'm just leaving now so he has some space. Lately I had to convince myself a lot that I'm not a bad person.

You'll be alright, golden boy. I like you. Go find your soulmate. I'll see you on the other side. America. "Hey, you're awake early." "Goodmorning sleepy head." I stroke through his hair and kneeled next to our bed. I was thankful that he didn't say anything and was waiting for me to say what I had to say.