See You Again

Chapter 21: The Message

After I gave my speech, I did stay for the rest of the funeral, but I refused to go up and see him. Not in front of everyone. I waited until everyone had left, and then I walked up by myself. Louis was all made up and stuff, like bodies usually are, but he still looked beautiful. I shoved my hands in my pockets to stop them from shaking,and I opened my mouth to speak.

"L-Louis...I know you can't hear me...but I love you so much. I miss you a lot. I w-wish this didn't have to end this way...I'll never forget you.You'll always be my...my little Louis." I wiped a shaking hand across my cheek and placed the papers in the casket. "These are for you. I hope you like them. I...I love you. I'll never stop loving you, because nothing can come between you and I." I gulped in air, trying not to cry to much, and walked away from him.

Out in the hall, the Tomlinsons and my mum and Niall and Liam were waiting for me. They all kept their distance from me, because they knew I didn't want comforting. I was pleased that they respected that. Jay stepped forward and held out a CD case to me.

"You left this in the room...he made it for you. Please...please listen to it. It's worth it."

"He...he really loved you. I hope you know that." Lottie said quietly,holding one of the twins who was crying. Fizzy smacked her on the arm, but I just nodded.

"I know. Thank you."

Niall and Liam both gave me hugs, being gentle but sincere, before heading off to the burial site. Jay and the family were staying to travel with Louis. My mum took me by the arm and lead me out to the parking lot.

"Do you want to go? We don't have to go to the burial if you don't want to..."

"No, I want to go...please." I begged, and she didn't argue.

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I trained at the burial. Most people tossed up umbrellas to keep dry, but I didn't bother. I let the rain pour down on my head until I was soaking wet. And when I got home, I didn't change. I just sat in my room on my desk chair, not bothering to change clothes. This was it.It was over. I had to take care of this quickly. I pulled out my notebook and began writing, my hand shaking as I wrote the words from four years ago. There was no turning back on this one.

"Harry...you forgot this in the car..." My mum knocked on the door and stuck her hand in, holding out the CD. I stopped writing and took it from her. She closed the door and left me to my own devices. I figured I had to listen to it before I went through with this. I wanted to hear his voice one last time. I pulled my laptop towards me and put the CD in it, waiting for it to boot up. A little black box appeared in the corner, and with shaking hands, I clicked play. A moment later, Louis' beautiful voice was sounding out of my computer speakers.

My beautiful Hazza,

When I got the idea for making this for you, I already knew that the cancer was back. But I was being strong for you. I thought I could beat it again, and we could be together without a care in the world. But I was wrong. If you are listening to this, that means I didn't make it, and I'm so sorry.

I should have told you from the start that my type of bone cancer usually comes back. It's just one of those things that happens in life. I didn't want to make you worry about me, though, so I left that bit out. Some people beat the odds, and I was going to be one of those people. I was determined to stay alive, not just for me, but for you. I never told you this either, but I knew you were the one. Even when we were only 13, I knew. I had the biggest crush on you back then, and honestly I have no idea how you didn't notice. When I was leaving you, I wanted so desperately to kiss you and tell you that I loved you, but we were too young, and I didn't want to make things worse than they already were.