21 Murders | Harry Styles AU (discontinued)

XLIV. Teamwork

teamwork (noun):  the combined action of a group of people, especially when effective and efficient

Harry's POV

It wasn't like the decision was that perplexing or difficult to make; I could either stay in the confines of my apartment and flake by flake fall onto the floorboards with regret and pain, or I could hit the road and leave until my head wasn't consumed in the largest cloud of fog imaginable.

Never had I thought that this would happen. Of all things, I thought that maybe she would decide to leave me after I helped with the case, but never in my wildest dreams did I think that I would walk into a cheating scandal where one of my ex-mates is involved.

There has been thoughts coursing through my mind - Am I wrong? Could this possibly be a misunderstanding? Would El truly stoop this low, especially to me? - but truth be told, I am not ready to give into the possibilities.

All this time I have been lied to by multiple people. I've always been the one in the dark or not told some crucial fact. Jokes on them, I don't need anyone else's words of wisdom because I have been forced to deal this long on my own. Were all those times in vain, though? I wouldn't say so, but right now isn't the time to storm back into my home and make an even larger scene.

I need to clear my head of the impossible smoke blinding me. Every corner I take and every crosswalk I trudge down only takes me farther and farther away from her - the girl who undoubtedly had every last piece of my heart that I had to give. The love I poured on her would never be something I could take back, but honestly, it might have been better if I never let her come into the department that first day we met.

The straps on my shoulders dig into the skin of my hunched back and curses mumble from my lips as arsehole street cabs honk their blazingly loud horns. If having a pounding headache wasn't terrible enough, the noise of the city isn't helping soothe me. 

I pass a homeless man sitting on the street corner and his tattered clothes reminds me that I could have a lot worse in life. Although my fate hasn't been overly considerate to my shambled heart, it could always be worse; I could always have lost a little more or something a bit more important like a limb.

Losing Noelle is like losing a limb though, like a piece of me is missing and every time I go to use this limb, I find myself frowning and reminiscing on how easy tasks were with it around. If moving on is what I need to do, then thinking about her shouldn't be on the daily agenda.

Being everyone's pin cushion is no longer what I will allow. I let my love for her blind my sights on everything else around me and now that I open my eyes and see the bigger picture, I realize that there are some certain things that need addressing before I can even move on. Pain and heartache need to be felt, but most of all, I need to fix shit with the department, Internal Affairs and my lump of a father.

No longer am I going to be the one who forgives too easily or cares too deeply because from this point on, I am going to build a foundation on my own two feet and work my way up. Hopefully, even if I hold this burning hate for Noelle doing this to me, I'd never want to hold her back, so just hopefully, she can do the same in my absence.

Because as of now, I need to find my home.

 In England.

Resolving my past problems before I can work on the present.

Noelle's POV

The lurking devil on my shoulder smirks harder every passing second that Harry doesn't bust through the door of his department office. Today, this morning, was the first day that Internal Affairs had reopened the department to the public and since wallowing alone in a dark room didn't seem very appealing, I took Royce up on his offer to drive me here.