The Office Curve

The Blushing Pretend Bride

When Ms. Bradley mentioned that she wrangled me into walking the bridal runway, I was less than thrilled about do it.

After the dress rehearsal, not only was I less than thrilled about it, I was convinced that bridal fashion shows was the most horrific level of hell that no one ever knew about.  Dante sure as hell didn't and Lucifer probably avoided it like devout Christians avoid sin.

Dude, even I'm not that keen on that much suffering! I'm sure the Devil has said over and over again.

It didn't help that I would be surrounded by supermodels and other kinds of skinny witches.  Okay, maybe I'm being a bit dramatic, but I'm pretty sure I'm the only curvy lady there.  There might be a few size sixes and eights along the way, but I'm quite certain that I was the only model there who was in the double digits, let alone the only woman with a little meat on her bones.

Self-visual distortion is a horrifying thing.

If I had a to chose a saving grace (and there really isn't much to choose from) it would probably be the head dresser in charge, or whatever you call the person who determines what you wear.  To be honest, I had no idea of what to expect with this woman - being surrounded by ideal bodies, I was afraid she take on look at me and kick me to the curb. 

If it were only that easy.

Lady Anympha Siten was no ordinary dresser - she was a behemoth in the wedding industry with high demand for her services.  If anyone who was anyone wanted her services and they paid handsomely for it.  She was even rumored to have worked big name fashion designers all around the world. 

The reason for her demand was both simple and amazing - she knew how to dress people. 

Lady Anympha had this uncanny ability to dress models in clothing that accentuated their natural assets.  She could turn even the frumpiest mode into a bombshell or a verified bombshell into a sartorial weapon of mass destruction with clothing alone.  She had a special knack with wedding dresses - the one piece of clothing that could bring even the most confident woman to her knees.

Even if I didn't write articles about that every day, I'm quite sure shows like "Say 'Yes' to the Dress" would remind me.

Lady Anympha look one look at me and snickered.  Flanked by an army of devoted assistants, who themselves were headed by two leaders - Ash and Vivian - she wasted no time in zeroing in on me. As bile churned in my throat and I feared for the cleanliness of her designer price-is-equivilent-to-my-monthly-salary shoes, she sauntered up to me with a smug smile on her face.

"Dahling, I must be so lucky to have a model like you in my midst."  Her accent was thick with arrogance, posh, and a bit of spitfire.  For all her swagger, I knew it was best not to mess with her.  "I am going to make you into my showstopper, yes, I am.  Finally, a director who bothered to listen to me!"

"Ah..."  I had no idea where this was going.  "Excuse me?"

"Curves, darling, they gave me a model with curves!"  She scrutinized me with her eyes, yet her smile never wavered.  "Ummhmm, ummhmm, you know it is darling - the look is different, but the bodies are all the same, skinny, minny, and nothing eyecatching.  You on the other hand have a distinct body and pretty face.  By the time I'm done with you, people will worship as though you were the goddess of matrimony!"

"Ah..." All I could think of was "If she for real?" and "What the hell is she smoking because I want some too!".  "If you say so."

"Say so - I know so.  Darling, by the time I am done with you, the man walking with you down the runway will magically produce a ring and propose because he will be so enraptured."  She winked me before taking hold of my hips.  A startled gasps ripped from my throat.  "I can dress any model to look amazing, but you, darling, you're a rarity.  You challenge my skills and you remind me of my power to make women look beautiful.  And that's what will happen when I'm done with you - you will be beautiful!"