Manwhore- Larry Stylinson #wattys2015

Chapter 18

Did you ever have to make a big decision in not much time? Were you able to make it quickly or did you try to take as much of the time you had to decide? Was the outcome of your decision good? I hoped mine would be. I didn't notice how long it too my decision to hit me but when it did that was it, and when there was no turning back I knew that all I could do now was wait and hope I made the right decision.

It's been a while, but one day Louis came back home, once again with some exciting news.

"We have this new dude at work." He said when we sat down to talk after I made both of us something to drink. "He's really nice and all, and at lunch break, I invited him to sit with me somewhere, to talk."

"Wait," I stopped him, "you're telling me you went out on a date with someone, or is this going somewhere?"

Louis chuckled. "It is. I was about to get there. Be patient." I sighed and nodded. "So like I said, I was sitting and talking with him, and appearently, right now he's completing his studies, and working for money to college." I suddenly became interested. "He's about 20, I think, and he dropped out of school for drugs and stuff. When he decided to end it and get back on track, he found this school, here in London, that's just for people who dropped out of school and want to complete their studies. They have all the grades, and there are people in many different ages with many different background stories and there's no embarassment being, say, a 35 years old in 8th grade, because everyone around you are there from pretty much the same reason."

"Okay..." I mumbled, speechless.

"He says it's a good school." Louis continued. "He says they do a lot for those there, to help them in any way possible, to give them whatever they lacked in the school they dropped out of. He says the students there are nice too. There are those creepy types who you wouldn't want to mess with, but they're in every school either way. He says that there are people who are amazing and nice and sometimes it's much like going to a normal school, just without all the 5th grade drama."

"Sound good." I said, still lost for what to say.

"Yeah." He said. "Would you like me to find out more about it?"

"Yeah." I nodded with a smile. "That'd be great."

Louis nodded. "Alright. I'll get right on that in a bit."

So when we finished our drinks Louis went to the computer and I sat on the couch, muting the TV when he started reading stuff about the school from its website. Overall, it sounded pretty good. I mean, of course they wouldn't want to get theirselves a bad name in their own website, but still. I thought to myself that it can be a nice idea, there might be people my age, maybe I'll make some new friends, surely I'll learn some more things I would've known if I had a normal life, and I won't have to stay home alone all day while Louis' at work, I will have something else to do, the boredom was killing me.

So we figured I should probably decide soon on the school thing, because it was that time where you should probably start signing up because soon you would only have to wait for next year, but I still asked for a little bit time to think about it.

It was a "what the heck" moment that I'd made up my mind. Because, well, how much bad stuff is there that can come out of this? It was just a school. It was just something that brought me closer to a normal life. Possibley the longest step I'll have to take to accomplish that goal, it would take a few years but I didn't mind. I just really wanted to finish what I started before everything just went wrong. So Louis helped me do everything there was to do to sign into that school, and then there was just the wait.

-*-

"Are you sure this is what you want?" Louis asked one day, eyes on the stack of mail he was going through.

"Yeah." I said. "Why?"

"Just made sure." He said, not lifting his gaze. "Because, you know, there are other options and there are many things you can do without having to complete school, and then you'll get so sucked into it, it'll be perfectly normal." He only then turned his head to me.

"Yeah, but..." I thought about it. "I want to complete school, even go to college or something, do something big. Not end up where I started, an alcoholic whore with no money."

"You can get there even if you're a professor." Louis said with half a grin. "Even the biggest ones in the stock exchange businesses can wake up one morning to not only having nothing, but with debts. Besides, who said you can't do something big without being fully educated?"

"That's exactly the problem!" I exclaimed. "I want to be just that because if I'm not then other people can talk to me like you did with all that 'fully educated' bullshit and it feels like you're talking down to me and it makes it sound like a bad thing and I don't want that!" I threw mysleft to lean back against the couch.

"Baby..." He mumbled, leaning back on the couch and wrapping his arms around me. "I didn't know this is how you felt, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make it sound like I'm talking down to you."

I sighed. "I'm probably just overreacting..."

"No, you're not." Louis insisted. "If you're uncomfortable with it then it's your right to say it so I know to be careful."

"But I don't want you to have to be careful with me. I'm not made of china." I chuckled sadly, Louis joining before pecking my lips.

"Anyway..." He said when he pulled away and went back to the stack of mail. "You have a letter."

As I took the envelope from him, I saw that it was from that school, and I opened it, reading carefully, feeling Louis' eyes on me as I did.

"It's from the school." I explain, looking at Louis to see hom nod, then I went back to read. "I got in." I couldn't help the smile from spreading on my face. "I'm in!"

"That's fantastic, baby, I'm so happy for you." Louis said as we hugged, and he squeezed me in his arms. A little after I went to call my mom and tell her, and she was happy for me too, telling my to go tell Gemma as well. And I couldn't be happier because I had more than one person to share my happiness with. I felt high on the feeling that nothing could be better, that wrapped me at the moment, as long as I didn't think about it, and for the rest of the day it didn't really hit me that that's how I felt. And maybe it was for the best, because if it would've occured to me, I would've ruined it the second I noticed.

One step closer, and now was the wait for the next schoolyear to begin, and I wasn't sure I could take it. At times all I thought about was what's it gonna be like. If the other people were nice, if they were gonna take me well, if I had to share my story and if they would accept me if I told them. I wondered if I'd find myself around and feel comortable soon enough, if I'd fit in. I sure hoped I would.

A/N: I feel like this chapter kinda sucks? Sorry lol :P