Rejected by one Alpha, Loved by another

Chapter 69 - Nightmares

Esme's POV

Jaxon is my blanket when it's cold, its warm grip sending perfect shivers down my spine. Once a sanctuary and luxury, the place that I lay my head and make love to my husband, my bed had become a battleground where nightmares waged war against my sanity.

One year ago, Every night, for months, I would awaken in a cold sweat, my heart pounding like a drum in my chest. The nausea that gripped me was unbearable, threatening to tear my body apart. I couldn't escape the torment that had once plagued my waking hours, now it had found refuge in my dreams. Some how the dreams became night mares and now I am waking up once again in sweats and shivers. My body isn't able to acknowledge the threat and the difference between life time night mares and night time night mares but it is scary as shit. I hate it so much.

In the suffocating depths of the night, her face would appear before me, a haunting spectre. Her eyes, that was once filled with warmth, a person I could call a friend, now burned with an icy venom. a person I never want to see ever again. The anger that emanated from her was palpable, a force that threatened to consume me but I refused to let her win.

I had done nothing to her, yet she despised me with a ferocity that made my blood run cold. Her hatred was like a poison, seeping into my very core. I couldn't tell what was real and what was the product of my imagination.

The nights became an endless cycle of terror and despair once again. I would lie awake, my body trembling, my mind racing. I couldn't shake the feeling that something was watching me, waiting for the perfect moment to strike and take me again.
I spent a lot of nights pacing and trying not to wake Jaxon up but some nights it was the other way around, he would be waking me up and cradling me. 2 weeks...it's been 2 weeks since I have come home and I have spent most nights sleepless or terrified. Some night I would go and sit in the kids room and then find peace there and other nights I would enter the little art room Jaxon and Jacob did for me a few days after I decided to take on a hobby of my own.

One night, as I lay paralyzed by fear, I heard a faint whisper. It was her voice, soft and menacing.

"You deserve this," she hissed. "You took everything from me." but she said it all with that same maniacal smile on her face. I tried to speak, to defend myself, but my words were trapped in my throat. I was helpless, a victim of her twisted revenge.

"NO!" I shout and sit up right almost head butting Jaxon as I did so.

"Baby. Breathe, just breathe" He says as he cradles me once more.

As the night wore on and began to turn into daylight, I knew I needed to speak to someone besides from my husband about this. My life needs to be repaired not broken further and the only way I can do this is if I seek the help that was offered to me before I left the hospital. I should have said yes and I should have gone to therapy but I didn't want to. Weak, That's all that I thought when they suggested it. I didn't want to be weak again. I am a Luna for goodness sakes I need to be strong for my people.

Just when I thought I couldn't endure any more, A warm, comforting presence filled the room, engulfed me in a cocoon of safety.

"You're not alone," a voice whispered. "I'm here, princess, but I think we need to come up with a plan to help don't you think" he says softly into my ears. The softness of his voice, his patience and energy to keep me up right is just how much I don't deserve him. He is everything I love and he is everything I need but he doesn't need this.

I opened my eyes and saw Jaxon sitting over me, cradling my cheeks with his big strong hands. His eyes were filled with concern, his expression etched with worry. I had to smile, He looked to cute to not to smile at.

" I know, I'm going to phone the doctor later on and get myself an appointment to get some help. You need me and the kids need me to be strong and good for them. Besides, it's one less thing I can worry about then" I said as I leant up and held Jaxon close to me.

I feel like this is a repeat for him, constantly saving my ass and bringing me away from the life I once thought was going to be the end of me.

He held me close, whispering soothing words into my ear. He told me that he would protect me, that he would never let anything harm me ever again and I believed it. I did but there will always be that feeling that overpowers shit you don't want. Always.

As the night wore on, the nightmares gradually faded away. I drifted back to sleep, comforted by Jaxon's presence and his firm, solid naked body against mine. Damnit.

"Jaxon" I said softly. "Yes princess"

I reach behind me and run my nails along his thighs causing him to shiver and grip me a little tighter I say the thing that's on my mind. "Make love to me" I said while grabbing his already rock hard length and sliding my hands up and down it several times, earning my self a guttural moan from the back of his voice. I can't see his face right now but I know that he's turned on. I can feel it.

"You don't have to have me twice" He says in his deep, masculine voice that tips me over the edge. He lowers himself down on me and is between my thighs giving me the attention I desperately want. After a little bit I can feel my orgasm about to explode.

"Jaxon...shit...I'm close" I said in panty breaths. "Come for me princess." he commands and it doesn't really work on me as much with me being a Luna and his wife as well but fuck does it turn me on...I release all over, the orgasm taking me to a whole new level of high. His body makes it's way up mine and while I'm coming down from my high he kisses me deeply while entering me and showing me another round of pleasure.

"Fuck...your one hot momma" he says while making me chuckle in between kisses but I can't stop the orgasm washing over me again...

two orgasms later we both lay beside each other, half asleep but in a happy place right now. I have missed this and I am so glad I am laying her with my husband and not in a depressing place that's not home.

"Good night princess. get some rest" he whispers into my ear.

"Good night baby" I said as sleep overtook my body. Muscles aching but very satisfied.