when in college

seventeen

Ten thirty-seven in the morning. October 2, Monday.
Rapid knocking sounds on the cheap hotel door. I awake in confusion. Again the knock reverberates. I shake Niall lightly. He groans childishly and wraps a strong arm across my body and squeezes my hip lightly. I call out his name quietly.
"Open the damn door, Horan." a gruff voice calls from the other side.
This gets his attention and he springs up, alert. He curses quietly and repeatedly. I get his attention, saying his name softly.
When he turns to me I see fear in his eyes.
"It's ok, baby. Go hide in the bathroom. Hurry." he whispers.
I've never seen him like this. It scares me. He's in frantic search for something. He pulls a gun out from under the bed and immediately dread fills my body.
I stand paralyzed at the end of the bed as the relentless knocks echo through the small room.
He cocks it and approaches me.
"Darling." He holds my face with his free hand. I detect adoration in his eyes.
He pulls me as close as two people can possibly be and plants a passionately torturous kiss on my plump lips.
My fear is momentarily forgotten as I melt into his arms. When we pull apart reality slowly fades into my senses as the pounding knocks never stop.
"Listen to me, what ever happens I want you to know how much you mean to me." He peck me on the lips once more and pushes me to the bathroom. "I'm deeply infatuated with you. I've never felt this way with anyone. It scares me." He rapidly spoke in a hushed tone as he locked the door to the bathroom he then looked me in the eyes.
"You're my favorite person in the world."
The door was then shut in my face. I jiggled the handle as my throat began tightening. My body trembled and tears filled my eyes, blurring my vision. I felt helpless as I hear the shouting outside the door.
I shakily stepped into the bathtub and wrapped my arms around my knees in attempt to comfort myself.
I barely heard the continuous shouting over the sobs wracking my body. I felt as if I was hyperventilating.
And then it was silent. I covered my mouth and pleaded with myself to stop crying, trying to hear over my heavy breathing.
And that's when it happened. Two unmistakable booms were heard. Gunshots.
I bit my hand to stop from crying. Another. I prayed that it wasn't Niall. Another. I prayed for a miracle. Another. I wish this was a dream.
Silence. The only sound, my quiet whimpers. A loud engine sounds. Before I know it I'm at the bathroom door. Somehow I break the cheap wood. Free from the fluorescent room. The first thing I see is a man on the floor, a gunshot wound to the head. Relief floods over me. It wasn't Niall.
My attention is directed to the sunlight coming in the room. Shining on the carpet from the open door. My heart drops and the blood drains from my face.
There my sweet boy lays in the doorway. This time it's not someone else's blood covering his chest.
I drop to my knees and crawl shakily to him. All hope floods from me as I see the two gunshot wounds on his precious chest.
I begin bawling. Desperately shaking him. Grasping his shoulders. I hold his face. The sobs rip through my body. My tears pool upon his gentle face.
I don't even notice as the cops pull me away from his body. The ambulance sirens scream. strange men take him away from me. I hear the cops talking to me but I don't know what they're saying. Everything is happening in slow motion. I can't focus on anything.

All I can think about is what he said to me.

You're my favorite person in the world.