The Love I Was Looking For (Halal love story)

||Chapter 24: My Other Half||

It now being August 10th, my first day as a senior in High School. Honestly, I'm having mixed feelings about this, but inshallah it will be good. 

I do my regular morning routine and head down stairs as everyone was waiting for breakfast. I greet everyone with Salam, and sat down as my mom has made croissants. It being 7:35 AM, Isa, Aya and I, hurry up to get our things ready before the bus comes.

"Allah hafiz bacho (goodbye kids)", my parents say as we hug them and leave. We all go our separate ways to our bus stops and get into them, waving bye to each other. 

I put my AirPods on as I look out the window seeing single drops of rain. Having my Spotify on shuffle, it picks "Stay With You" by: Jungkook (vocals only). I look outside seeing how the rain gets harder and I smile. 

I whisper, "Ya Allah, please make Sajid and I reunite soon. I miss him so much". Rasulullah (saw) said: "Two will not be rejected, supplication when the Adhan is being called and at the time of the rain". So I hope my dua's get accepted soon inshallah.

Once I got to school, I texted Shyla to see where she was. I met Harris and Shyla at the cafeteria by the tables. 

"Hey girl, how you been feeling", Shyla asks as she puts her arm around my shoulder. "I'm okay so far, it's been rough but alhamduilliah". "What about you and Harris?", I ask. "I miss my bro, he hasn't texted me much anymore", Harris said. 

"I know he hasn't texted me either, Allah khair kare, I hope he's okay", I say as we all get in line to get breakfast. We get our food and sit at the patio where Sajid confessed to me all those months ago. 

The sun started to peek through the rainy clouds. A ray of sunshine appeared as the clouds started disappearing. As I ate I imagined the day he confessed. I see him laughing and making jokes, teasing me as I yell at him blushing and annoyed of his silly self. 

The only thought I really have at this moment is that I miss him. Later class started and new students were introduced. During passing period, I went to the guidance office to Mr. Clark to see if he has any news about Sajid.

"Why hello Aisha, What do I have the pleasure of seeing you today?", he asked once I stepped into his room. 

"Hello, I was just wondering you heard anything from Sajid recently". He looks down and shakes his head, "No, I'm afraid not, last time I heard from him was the end of the year, he came to me thanking me for everything I have done for him". 

"Oh, I see", I say softly as my heart sinks a little. "You two got really close, I was right to have you show him around last year", he said. 

"Thank you for that, he really means everything to me. In my religion we can't date nor touch the opposite gender, and as Muslims we get married early. Sajid followed that, he said he would go straight to my father and ask him for my hand in marriage soon. However, his parents made him go back to Pakistan before he ever could.

We barely keep on contact, I'm not sure how he is anymore to be honest. I just miss him so much". 

"It must be really hard for you both, I bet he misses you as well. I heard about the culture of having an arranged marriage in Islam. Sometimes it's different for people, because they actually fall in love and not have their parents pick who they marry", he says. 

"Yes, I believe that". The bell rings for next period. "Well, there goes the bell. I'll write you a pass to class. Also, if I ever hear anything from Sajid, I'll tell you as soon as possible", he says as he write me a pass. 

"I appreciate it a lot". He hands me a small blue slip of paper. "Thank you so much, I'll see you later", I say as I hurried back to class. 

Having my new schedule, I'm happy I have the classes I want, but I feel lonely attending them without him. The day goes by, it felt so long and it was just hard for me. I couldn't even tell parents how it went. I felt so depressed and unmotivated just because my other half is gone. 

This continued for months and months. I really do pray to Allah tala to reunite us again, but it's so hard to have sabr. I cry so much just thinking about him. Worrying but him, thinking what if his parents wants him to marry someone else besides me.

I know he did tell his mother about me but still, I'm so worried. Nonstop it's been me praying, making dua for him, praying tahajjud every night, crying to sleep missing him and doing well in school for his parents to accept me in the end. 

I continue to sketch clothing designs of all sorts. I pull up all-nighters watching YouTube videos on how to use different varieties of fabrics and how to stitch different patters to start making clothes.

If I was to achieve my dreams and goals of being a fashion designer I have to work hard and start making small improvements at a time, so that's what I'll do. 

Days turned into nights, nights turned into days, days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months where my senior year just gave in. I joined lots of clubs to take my mind off of everything I dealing with, and it was't just missing Sajid.

Stuff started happening at home too. Things that's just expected in a Desi household. Sometimes I'd just cry hoping Allah tala relives my pain. 

Or that I'd get that one text from Sajid to comfort me. I really do try my best to never give up, even if the whole world is against me. It's hard to focus when small things remind you of him. Like when I read Quran or at the masjid and I hear Surah Najm. 

It reminds me of what he said. "Every time I read Surah Najm, I think of you. Your beautiful eyes and the starts within. "By the beautiful night stars when they fade away" ayat 1". 

To be honest, I never liked my eyes. I alway's thought they were so dark and common that there was nothing to like. But, honestly he made me fall in love with them.

I loved his eyes more though. They were lighter than mine. His eyes a pretty cinnamon brown color, not too light but not too dark. 

And his hair the same, brown that's not too light nor too dark, but very fluffy and looked so soft. I dream of playing with his hair the night of Nikkah, smiling and laughing and just having so much fun with him. 

Inshallah it happens one day, but as for now, I have my senior year to focus on. It's okay though, It's almost the end of it. 

And that Graduation is just around the corner. Hoping one day all my dreams and wishes come true inshallah.