The Love I Was Looking For (Halal love story)

||Chapter 21: The Fading Sun||

What a summer this has become. Dealing with the news the Sajid is leaving and going back to Pakistan so soon. Sure, he was just an exchange student but, I fell for him didn't I?

I didn't think he'd leave so soon. Time did go so quickly I guess, I never really paid attention. I just had the time of my life with him while he was here. All the memories we made, him jokingly bullying me when we first met. 

To our classmates shipping us together when we didn't even know each other. The time where he confessed his love to me and how we met Shyla and Harris. Going to the mall together and him buying me an expensive gold necklace with my name in Arabic with a moon on it. 

Calls back and forth to late night to early morning, even playing and trolling on Roblox half the time. So many memories I enjoyed with him, which I will always cherish deep within my heart.

I'm so deep in my throughs for a few moments I didn't even realize my parents kept calling my name.  I finally got up and put my phone on charge and went to the kitchen. "Jii", I look up at them. 

"Aap purey summer main kya karen gey? aap ke fon par?, (What will you be doing all summer? on your phone?", baba says to me. 

Well... The only reason I've been on my phone a lot is because of Sajid. I be texting him a lot and I guess my parents happened to noticed that I've been on my phone more than normal. "Nahi.. (No),  I'll be studying ahead for my senior year, working on SAT and ACT too, baba".

"If I catch you on your phone excessively again, I'm taking it. Tumhen meri samjh arhi hi?, (Do you understand me?"

I nod my head slowly, "Jii, (Yes). "Accha, aur chai banado", (Okay, and make chai)", he says as he does his paper work. I go to the cabinet to reach for a cup so I can pour aik aur aadah ka cup of pani (1 and 1/2 cup of water) in the kettle and putting it on high heat on the strove. 

I watch him as he does his work, one thing about my baba is that he works a lot to be honest. It must be hard to have an ice cream novelty business and an ATM business at the same time. I'm glad he's doing well and have a partner to help him, because other wise it would be so much work for just him. 

But still, he isn't home a lot, he's works early then most of the times he comes home late. My mom is always busy with Isa and Aya and house work, and there's just really no family time anymore. 

My siblings aren't that close to me how I always wanted them to be. Here and there, they are even mean to me for no reason. I always had Sajid to calm me down, he would tell me that "Allah tala dekh raha hi, (Allah (swt) is watching". Also, that to have sabr (patience) and tawwakul (trust) in Allah tala. 

He would often give me little dawahs (a sermon), from verses in the Quran. I appreciated it so much, I learned so much from him, making me feel closer to my deen subhanallah (Allah is prefect). I already miss him so much, Inshallah Allah khair kare (Allah will take care of everything). 

I took at the kettle as it's finally done boiling. I take a teaspoon of chai patti (tea leaves) in the water and let it sit for a few mins. Adding two elaichis (cardamon) and getting condense milk out to heat it. 

To be honest, I don't know what's the hype with condense milk. Personally I don't like it, I rather have my chai with whole milk. As I strain the chai into the cup with condense milk as I heat it up once more and platter some cookies with it and give it to baba.

I go back to the living room to get my phone and charger and head upstairs in my room. I look at Snapchat, WhatsApp and iMessage to see if Sajid has texted. I let out a sigh, Nope no message since a while. 

He is probably on a plane to Pakistan right now. I throw my phone on my bed and get my sketch book and a pencil. Might as well deign a new piece in the meantime. 

I'm thinking of doing a men's Kurta (a kind of tunic, or long, collarless top). I sketch out a quick a medium size croquis. Drawing a simple yet long kurta on the body. As I draw, I label each part with arrows indicating specific details. The fabric, I'm thinking  a navy blue satin. The design type maybe plain hand embroidery.

The collar design with white threading leading down. What else should I add? Ummm, I draw little pockets on both ends of the kurta. I like this so much, I look around for my color pencils and grab them. 

I color everything how I picture it in my mind. As I color I think about how cute Sajid would look in one of my fits. Imagine him modeling for my designs, I'd literally die. 

He's already so handsome, with his pretty chestnut eyes and fluffy brown hair. He definitely looks so fine in black. Inshallah soon I'll actually work with fabric and put my sewing machine I got for my 12th birthday.

Looking through my sketch book, I smile. For Sajid I'll work really hard, on my deen and in school and for what I'm passionate for. 

I'll put all my effort into becoming a better Muslim and to graduate with the highest grades inshallah. Even if it does mean that Sajid and I talk less and not see each other more. I feel so upset, by him leaving but it's Allah tala ki marzi (it is Allah's will). 

I hope that we are reunited again soon. And that, his parents accept me. An ordinary Pakistani girl living in America. 

Inshallah he get's home safe, and texts me soon, because I really miss him. Setting my sketch book down I reach for my Quran. I open to the page where I left off from and it was Surah Najm. "By the beautiful night stars, when they fade away".