All In My Head (GirlxGirls)

Broken Hearted Girl

"I feel like I'm waiting for something that isn't going to happen." - Anonymous
Just as things had gone back to normal in my life, when she texted me. My heart sank into the pits of my stomach, just when I thought I was moving on; she came along again. I wasn't complaining, but it just caught me off guard. It was a nice unexpected surprise, she always was - even when I didn't want her to be.
I was headed to the beach for the week before school started back, which was long over due. She was my trip buddy, or the person I texted on the way to and anywhere inbetween when I had time. She'd be the first person to text when I wake up, when I come back from the beach, just the person I wanted to talk to anytime of the day when I could. She was the one, as simple as that is it's true.
That week flew by, nothing much happened, except when I intentionally made her jealous and I told her some girl was trying to get my number. It was rather adorable how she got territorial over me, I had never experienced that before. I liked it, a lot. I love the way she makes me feel wanted. Makes me feel as if I'm actually hers.
Oh shit! It's her birthday. A birthday for a very special girl, and my very special girl got a birthday message, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Just wanted to be the first to tell you happy birthday. Wanted to show you and tell you how important you are to me. Neveah, you are the sun that rises in the morning and lights my whole world up. The reason that every breath I take is because of you, seeing it is you give me everything I could ever want. I'll you see you tomorrow and we can really celebrate then. I'm so glad your mother pushed your big ass head out, and gave birth to the most beautiful girl in the world. Have a very happy birthday and make it all about you!!! I love you!"
I had gotten her a necklace in her favorite color, green, as a souvenir and a birthday present. Her birthday went fast and it was time to face her. Shit, I was terrified. Facing the girl I had only talked to through a screen, and occasionally on the phone but other than that I hadn't seen her since school got out for the summer. On top of that, she makes me so fucking nervous that it's crazy and embarrassing. Like I know everyone can tell that I like her by the way I get so quiet when she's around. Damn - she is so gorgeous - how else am I supposed to act around her?
Seven o'clock in the freaking morning is too damn early for me to wake up to go to this hell hole, but she's what makes it so worth it. Seeing her beautiful self in the mornings makes coming to school worth it everyday of the week. Homeroom. Of course this is where we get our schedules. Come to find out we have first period together. Perfect. Just perfect. I get to see her first thing in the morning.
It was very awkward, simply because we hadn't seen each other and Marcus was in our class as well. She hated him at first and then slowly fell back into love with "him," which I guess was kind of expected, I wasn't anything special. Never had been, which is probably what made it easy for me. I hear rumors all around that she was talking to Marcus, and this other guy Dre. It kinda pissed me off, but then I remembered that I'm nothing special. So I let her do her and backed out of her life altogether. It hurt, but I felt it was necessary. Eventually, I had reconnected with my ex Keisha - probably not my best idea - but it happened.
Months passed, Nevaeh and I had reconnected after she was in an accident - she was an accident prone child - and was out of school for what felt like ever. Everyone went to see her in the hospital, but me. I mean she had Jamal, her new boyfriend. Thats the only reason I didn't go, I knew it should've been me taking care of her instead of him and I didn't want to cross boundaries.
When she did come to school I was the one there for her. As much as I could be. I stood up for her and almost killed a few people, but it was to defend her. Keisha didn't really like that, but I really didn't give a shit. Nevaeh needed me more, and I cared more for Nevaeh - wrong, but true. Deep down Nevaeh was my girl, and I tried to hide that.