Chapter 4

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Surgery

We arrived back home just as RAW was going off the air. Linda as usual was their waiting she gave me a big hug and she was trying to fight off the tears.

"I believe it'll all work out for the better," she told me.

"I guess I have no choice but to find out," I said then I thanked the guys for coming with me before excusing myself to go upstairs. Linda had food ready for everyone but since I was going to be having surgery, I was passed the time I could eat anything.

"Solo, help Briar, Briar I'll be up in a little bit," Roman said. Solo quickly moved beside me and up the stairs we went. My surgery wasn't until seven am but I had to be checked into the hospital by five-thirty am which meant a four-thirty am alarm. Solo gave me the crutches back at the top of the stairs and followed me down the hall.

"I'm good Solo you can go eat with the others," I told him.

"I'll go down in a little bit, I know all of us will have to go back on the road soon and you won't be with us so I'd like stay with you a little longer," he admitted and I had to turn my head so I wouldn't cry.

"Sure, big guy," I said then continued on down the hall to my room with him on my heels. I sat down on the bed setting my crutches aside and started taking off my jacket. He stood there patiently staring at me. "You know your going to be fine without me, it wasn't that long ago you used to travel without me."

"That was then this is now," he replied. I understood where he was coming from no matter where I went at every show or if Roman wasn't traveling with us, he was right there practically glued to my hip.

"It'll be something we both need to get used to. It won't be easy traveling without me and it won't be easy for me watching you guys on TV without me," I said.

"I don't like this," he admitted.

"Believe me if anyone doesn't like this it's me," I said my words getting angry as I went on. I grabbed the crutches and stood up facing him. "Look at me. I had everything Solo, everything. I was on top and had all the opportunities and in one moment it was all taken away. Now I got to figure out how to go on in a slower pace," I said starting to feel myself slip from keeping it together.

"I'm sorry it's not fair," he said.

"I'm used to things not being fair, I don't need things to be fair but just once when things are going good in my life, I'd like to enjoy them instead of constantly being slammed right into the bad the second I try to relax," I explained. Solo with his sad eyes reached his hands out to me but I pulled back before turning around. "I'm sorry, I just.... I appreciate everything you've done for me Solo but I just need to be alone right now," I told him.

"Briar," he started saying.

"Please Solo, just go," I said. Silence fell behind me but I knew he was gone when I felt the tension leave the room. I turned around to find the room empty. I sighed feeling the tears stinging at my eyes once again. I didn't hesitate going over to the balcony door and throwing it open. Now that it was May it was for sure getting warmer here it was ten pm and it was still seventy degrees out. I moved forward till I reached the railing then I threw down my crutches and gripped the railing with my hands. I bowed my head trying to breath in the fresh air to calm myself but when I bowed my head the tears started coming anyways and I couldn't stop them. My heart was racing fast and I just couldn't stand anymore. I turned around and half slid half fell down to the ground. I pulled my legs up to my chest and let myself cry it all out. I had no clue how long I'd been siting there time just kind of stopped but my tears continued even after I heard Roman's voice.

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